Jesus Freak

I was with a group of friends over the weekend, just hanging out. A conversation strikes up about IQ. These friends are very smart. One in particular. He is a level 3 Java Developer at a big company, making 3 times what I make. I was telling this group that I didn't feel smart. Especially around them. Someone would ask them a question, and they'd get it instantly. It would always take me a long time. While we shared a few laughs about the topic, I couldn't stop thinking about this.

Why am I feeling this way?

I went to church on Sunday, and our Senior Minister had a few words of advice for our high school graduates. He said that we shouldn't put our identity in our GPA's, our advanced degrees, our IQ, or our fraternity/sorority, but we should put our identities in Christ. Then I felt ten times better...

I've never really thought of myself as a Jesus Freak. I've never really thought of myself as radical. Back in High School, I did go to church every week. But it felt different. I was too caught up with the rules (not cursing, not drinking) I was too caught up with judging others. It was too much about religion, not about a relationship. And that's what its about. A relationship with God who loves you, no matter what you have done, or what you're going to do. He masterfully crafted us in the womb, and is always by our side when everything else changes. He sent his son Jesus to die for our sins. My sins. I'm forgiven, and loved unconditionally. Are you kidding me?

So when I have good weeks spiritually and I have devotion time with my best friends, talking for hours about life and Jesus, and I listen to christian radio, and I'm in the word studying, and I have moments of intense prayer with my creator, I no longer feel inadequate, insecure, inept, dumb, stupid. I don't put my identity in my intelligence, or my ACT test score, or my degree, or my job. My identity is in Christ, who's my redeemer, and my personal Lord and Savior. I have that confidence, that I've always been looking for.

But then I have these spiritually low weeks. Weeks where I do compare myself to the worlds standards. Where I do feel dumb and insecure. I don't pray as often as I should, or study or have devotion time. Then I wonder why I feel this way.

If you claim to be a Christian, I think the only option is to be ALL about it. We are called to surrender everything. We are called to be strangers of this world. Having faith in something you don't see, and surrendering your life in that way are radical concepts. So maybe I am a Jesus Freak. I'm proud of it. I love getting a chance to witness to others, and telling people the good news. Sure I get looks like I'm a three headed monster and get made fun of. Before I would've felt strange and weird and awkward. Now every chance I get to be bold in my faith, I get this rush. I get excited. I love being a representative for Christ.

I apologize to everyone in the past for whom I judged. I apologize for ever being a hypocrite. I apologize for being a bad representative of Christ. All I want to do is love Jesus, and love like Jesus. I'm not perfect, and I'm going to fail, but I know I am forgiven.

Don't Throw Rocks at Cats

-"Do you like cats?"

-"Eww. I hate cats! I throw rocks at them."

-"Why do you throw rocks at cats?!"

-"Because...they are mean to me!"

-"Well why do you think they are mean to you?"

-"Because... I throw rocks at them!"

The conversation above is a paraphrase I had with a student, while I was a substitute teacher for a brief time. Unfortunately this conversation isnt just about this misguided student that abuses animals. This conversation could serve as a microcosm for a dog lovers reasoning for their hatred towards cats. For some reason there are dog lovers out there (quite a few) who just cant stand a cats existence. You'll hear phrases like, "The only good cat is a dead cat!" or "if I see a cat on the road I will purposely try to run it over!" It's like whenever the word cat is mentioned, the person just snaps for 3 seconds, having to vent out their pent up aggression towards these animals.

Whats going on here?





Here is my beef with some of these dog lovers. I'm cool with the fact that they love their dogs, and they are passionate about them. I understand that, and appreciate it. I am an animal lover myself, and I like most dogs. I would describe myself as a "cat person", but one would see me loving on dogs as well. I like animals. These dog lovers that I'm talking about loves dogs, but HATES cats. They hate the fact that cats are:

1) Not like dogs

2) Independent

3) low maintenence

4) have hair, that could cause allergies (by no fault of their own)

I just don't understand why dog lovers cant be like, "oh well I'm more of a dog person myself, but its cool that you like cats. I can see why you would like them." Instead they have to say, "eww cats! *uncontrollably vomits* boy if I had a firecracker, the first thing I would shoot it at is a cat! No offense Eric, I know you like cats." If they can just have an appreciation for the cat. Appreciate that cats are completely different from dogs. Just like girls are completely different from guys. And lizards are completely different from spiders. What if a spider or lizard runs up to you at the door to greet you? That would scare the crap out of you. But if these dog-lovers make the claim that they dont like cats because they dont have the same characteristics and attributes as dogs (aka. greeting you when you get home by jumping up on you and licking you) isnt that like saying "I HATE blue jays. They dont greet me when I go to the backyard, and they don't allow me to pet them when I give them bread!!!" I'm going to throw rocks at them!"

I can go on and on about my love for cats. Butterscotch and Simon both have been great pets. When Butterscotch passed away it was really tough on our family because he was part of the family. When I was on the job hunt, Simon kept me company, while everyone else was out of the house. It's complete nonsense when those dog-lovers make the argument that cats don't show affection. Just the other night I came home late, and guess who came to greet me? Simon. Maybe not by jumping up on me, licking my face and wagging his tail. But he nudged up against my legs with a loud purr, plopping down on the floor, and giving me "lovey" eyes. As I keep petting him, the purring gets louder and louder. Isn't that affection? Isn't it affection when both of our cats have always been in the same room we have been, when there are 3 stories of rooms they could explore or hide away in? Isn't it affection when Simon jumps on our laps for comfort and relaxation rather than the big empty chair?

Thanks for listening to this rant. I hope that we all can just have an appreciation for all animals. God made them and crafted them completely different from each other. He did not make mistakes during this process.

Happy Easter, and God Bless!

Eric

The Conversation App

With the introduction to the iPhone4S and "Siri", we can now talk to our phones like their our number 1 confidant. Let's take it a step further though. What if there was an app that we can not only talk to a robot, and they spit out programmed answers, but if the robot knew us on more a personal level. What if they knew our moods, knew how to cheer us up and encourage us, knew what motivated and inspired us. Shared similar interest with us (e.g. on the golf course, this app would say "nice shot dave. You are improving your putting game, but your drive still may need a little work. We should head over to the range at least twice a week to work with that new hybrid driver). What if they can even be more intimate than that? Showing affection, spending quality time with us, doing something nice for us. Sharing a romantic evening at Red Lobster with us, celebrating your one year anniversary since your upgrade to the new iPhone4S.

Wait hold on a minute. I feel like this does exist. And it has nothing to do with our cell phones.

My number 1 pet peeve, is having dinner with my friends looking so forward to chilling with them, catching up, being encouraged, etc, but they are spending more time and energy on their smart phones. I remember one night I almost walked out of the restaurant, as all I saw were a row of downcast heads looking at glowing white screens. What do I do when that happens? Should I try to make conversation with myself? Should I try to make conversation with my cherry pepsi glass?

Just recently I went out to the phone store, to get a new phone. Taking advantage of this time to upgrade, I eagerly exchanged my Blackberry Curve for a... Motorolla Flip Phone. That's right a dumb phone. A phone that can only call and text. A phone that brings back what our society lost a long time ago.. a connection with people, not technology. Not only that, but I was so tired of information overload. I was so tired of waiting for that blinking red light to appear on my phone, notifying me that I got a message. But when I saw who it was, it was only junk email from ancestory.com, or a stupid facebook notification. Or even worse, instead of spending time studying the word or having an enriching prayer life, I would spend some time playing a stupid game on my phone. Even when my intentions were to pray, how did I subconsciously gravitate to my phone? No more.

Now I don't want you to take this the wrong way. Everybody has iPhones now, and thats fine. I'm not against iPhones. I'm against a disconnection from people. Some time where we should spend with valuable conversation, we spend in our own little world. That's all good that we keep up with the latest technology, as technology can make things easier for us. We just need to preserve that valuable conversation time with loved ones.

God Bless!

Eric

To Be a Refreshment to People's Existence

I came up with a "life mission statement" the other week. It just kinda came out of nowhere. That statement (also the title of this blog) is "to be a refreshment to people's existence." If I put together all the things that make up the essence of who I am, it fits this life mission.

I love making people laugh

I love making someone smile

I love impacting someones life (even if its something small)

As far as work experiences and activities, what energized me the most was interacting with someone, and having a chance to make an impact. At the restaurant, I loved training host's and servers. I loved pleasing guests, and making their experience great. As a VP of my fraternity, I loved recruiting students. I loved conducting seminars on brotherhood and leadership. I loved motivating them through fraternity struggles and drama. As a career, I would love to have an opportunity to impact someones life in some way (nonprofit work, management when I get to motivate and inspire someone, admissions when I get to motivate students to achieve their dreams, ministry when I'd spread the good news, or motivational speaking if my book makes it big!)

The other night my brother and I went to grab something at Burger King. We went through the drive through. As soon as the attendant opened the window, she recognized me from 4 months prior. She smiled, and said she hasn't seen me in a while. Rewind to last September. I came in to Burger King, disgruntled after my friday night shift, and looking forward to a job prospect as an admissions rep at a technical college. All I did to break the employee-to-customer business transaction, was vent about wanting to get out of the restaurant, and she was able to relate. The week afterwards, I went to the drive through, and briefly spoke with her, that I didn't get the job I wanted.. Now here in January, she remembers me! What can I take away from this experience? Does that mean I impacted someones life in a small way? Does that mean I completed my life goal?

My mission statement I think reflects greatly with statements found in the Bible. Such as being a light of the world, or salt of the earth. Hopefully I can land a career that would be congruent with this mission. Then, I think that I would be on fire.

 Does anyone else have a life mission? If not, what would it be?

God Bless,

Eric

Hashbrowns and Homefries

It was Christmas Eve night when I was waiting tables at my restaurant job, praying that it would be 5:00 as soon as possible, so I could go home and spend some QT with my family. Thats when a customer was sat at my section, ready to be a "ba humbug", complaining about his meal. He ordered one of our breakfast items, which included his choice of either Hashbrowns or Homefries. He grumbled that he wanted the hashbrowns, but not with our seasoning. Not aware that we put anything on our hashbrowns, I consulted our cook, and he said that they didnt put anything special on them--they came as they were prepared.

So minutes later, I gave him his breakfast. After running around to serve my other guests, scattered about the restaurant, he motioned me over. I stood there listening to him vent as he complained about his entree. The kicker for me though was the complaint about he hashbrowns. He said, "And I got hashbrowns, when I really wanted home fries. I know I said hashbrowns, but you should have picked up on what I meant, when I was talking about the seasoning."

Are servers supposed to read minds? Is that in our job description?

He not only got his meal for free, as our manager took care of him. But he also stiffed me because I couldn't read his mind! Of course that put me in a sour mood for Christmas Eve. I did lighten up (after a great meal at Oriental Wok with my family that night, followed by other Christmas traditions!), but I couldn't stop thinking about this predicament.

Last Thursday morning, when I was hosting. I greeted the same guy and his wife, sitting them down to their seats. I tried to make as little eye contact with him as possible. Later on when they got up to left, they talked with our manager (the same one who gave him his free meal). Then he did something that I don't think I'll ever forget. He turns to me, and hands me 2 dollars saying, "I stiffed you the other day. Here you go."

Does that mean there's hope for mankind? Are there a handful of people out there who want to do the right thing? His conscious must have been weighing heavy on him for two weeks to come back and do that. I wasn't even his server! I was just a host.

This story started out as a "bad server story", just one more reason to get out of the restaurant industry. It ended up being a story about miracles, hope, and inspiration.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Give Me a Chance!

So there it was: the perfect job at a local non-profit, in which I could build skills, and get my foot in the door. Every job requires experience, and the only way to get experience is to get a job. I thought I finally got past the vicious catch 22 cycle. It was a $10 an hour admin support job. I have my bachelors, I expressed interest through emailing the recruiter, I was well qualified for the position. I took their assessment test, and then they called me the following week seeing what my salary requirements were. I said the starting pay was fine. Surely I would get a chance to interview with them.

They never called me again. No chance for an interview.

I graduated a year and a half ago. I took a job that wasn't a good fit for me (I figured I'd give it a try. How was I supposed to know?) Now, with low confidence, and an intense frustration, I keep on trying. Not too long ago, I applied for my dream job: An admissions position at a college, in which I would be conducting tours, aiding the admissions staff etc. I not only qualified, I wrote a cover letter filled with passion, telling them that this was my dream job, and how excited I was. No chance for an interview. No response. Don't they wonder at least, "hey this guy has his bachelors in communications, and is obviously very interested. Sounds like he would be a good fit. Should we interview him and find out more about him?" Nope.

Give me a chance! I am a smart guy who has many skills, strengths, and passions. Every single one of my managers and co-workers at my restaurant job will vouch for me. Same with the non-profit agency I volunteer for. They would go on and on how great I am to work with. I get along well with everyone (even those who are hard to get along with), I have a superb attitude and work ethic, and I have impeccable character (loyalty, honesty, integrity, doing the right thing when no one is looking). I am just so tired of this! I would so love to be called for more interviews! That's all I'm asking for!

Please excuse this rant. I just need to be patient and trust in the Lord more. Plain and simple.

Hopefully I will be in a better mood next post!

Merry Christmas,

Eric

I'm Not a Thrill-Seeker...And That's Okay!

So there I was, at Kings Island. The place where I swore I was never going to go again. Not only was it Kings Island, but it was their "Halloween Haunt". I don't like roller coasters, nor do I like haunted houses. What was I doing there though? Was there a secret part of me that wanted to prove something? I ended up having a good time, as I went through 8 haunted houses. But as I was in line for one of the coasters with my friends (just to hang with them while they get on the dreaded thing, and I jump to the exit line!), they were pressuring me the ENTIRE way:

"Eric, WHY don't you want to ride it? Give me a good reason!"
"Eric, what's the worst that could happen? You arent going to die!"
"Eric, you HAVE to do this to conquer your fears!"
"This is just A KIDDIE ride!"
"(Some random guy in line) My (insert family member here) hated roller coasters, and she rode this one, now she is obsessed with them! Get on it!"
"You just have to try it once! We won't bother you again if you try it and dont like it!"
"When was the last time you have rode one? It's going to be different this time!"

I'm sure you get my point by now, I just needed some time to vent. Instead of having fun with my group, and instead of them just talking about how much they were looking forward to it, or even, talking to me about what I would like to do that night, they just kept pressuring me that I had to ride it, or (blank). Or what? I'm not a man if I dont get on this thing? I'm not living my life to the fullest? I'll regret my life if I don't get strapped down, and jerked around on a death machine? The point is, I'm not a thrill-seeker...and that's okay!

I have so many hobbies, and so many passions. I have so many things I do that is carved into the fabric of my being. I go biking for miles and miles, which some of my other friends can't keep up with me. I'm a beast at racquetball. I love God, and am not ashamed of it. I love a good cheeseburger, or a philly cheesesteak. I have managed to make ping pong not only a sport, but an art. I love hiking.. especially when we go off the beaten path into the creeks. At the YMCA, I take yoga class for an hour, followed by an hour of KICKBOXING (coming from my background in martial arts, where I am a first degree black belt). I play the trumpet, and I LOVE music, especially the classic stuff. I volunteer at the Brighton Center with retirees, and LOVE it. I love ice cream, and watching movies. I'm obsessed with coffee. I wrote a book. I'm a man.

I can say all that stuff, but then when we go to kings island, all of a sudden my manhood is at stake. I get the sense that I have to prove something. I feel embarrased that I don't want to ride this, as 50 people in line are looking at me thinking "look at that chicken!" Then it gets worse. I feel like I'm going to be single forever because I don't want to ride this ride, which translates into I don't grab the bull by the horns, which translates into I'm not wild, and adventurous, which translates into I'm not a man.

The truth of the matter is, I'd rather go to the dentist than ride a roller coaster. Plain and simple. I'm not going to pay 5,000 dollars, and take out a consumer loan, by going to this theme park, and doing stuff I don't want to do. I'll say the same for Euchre too. I'm not going to sit somewhere for 5 hours, getting yelled at by my partner, and getting frustrated that I still dont understand the game. I'd rather go for a run, or have a cup of coffee with a really close friend. That's what I enjoy. The simple things. If that means that I'll never get a girlfriend, because I'm not adventurous enough, than fine. It's their loss.

Do what you love to do. If someone pressures you into doing something you dont want to do, like swim, dance, play badmitton, or ride roller coasters, just say "Nah, that's not really my cup of tea." Period. No need to explain, and then move on. You shouldn't feel pressured, or feel like your manhood is at stake, or that you have to prove something. There are so many more things that define you than your want to ride roller coasters.

God bless!

Eric