Being a Regular at Smoothie King

I had another great workout at the gym today. I think I saw one of those guys that people warn you about... those lunks? larks? He was grunting, and I think he was gymtimidating people. Who do you alert when you see one of those guys? I'm not sure of the process...

After the gym, what I try to do is go to Smoothie King. I got a great vanilla smoothie today with bananas and almonds. So good. What I decided was, I think I want to turn into a regular at this Smoothie King.

I want to be one of those people that just pull up to the drive-thru and the attendants would just know my voice.

"Oh hello, Eric. Your usual today?"

"Nah, I think I want to mix things up and go with the angel food"

"Oh okay! Curveball!"

I would then go to the window, and we would swap really quick stories. I may share about a long bike or hiking trip I'm going on the next week, and say something like, "if you don't hear from me next week then something may have happened!" We would both share a laugh.

What is it about people that would want to be a regular like that? I have a deep desire to be known; To be known by people and for people to recognize me. And I don't just want to be recognized but to be known deeply, and for people to know my story. 

As a Christian, I have a worldview to where the answer to that question comes from God. God designed us to be in community and in relationship with other people. God is in a constant relationship (Father, Son, Holy Spirit). When He created us, He took into account our loneliness and said, "It is not good for man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18). 

Another great truth... we are known by Him! He can fulfill that deepest desire I have to be known. He is closer than my next breath. I get to be surrounded by a community of friends and family as a bonus. 

So I will continue to stop by Smoothie King, and try to build connections and relationships with others. One smoothie at a time.

Ladles and Life Seminars

I recently had a group of friends over this winter and wanted to prepare hot chocolate in a crockpot. I wasn't quite sure what to serve the hot chocolate with (having very limited cooking skills). Would my friends just scoop up the hot cocoa with their own cup? That didn't make much sense... I'm missing something...

Answer: A ladle!

My friends pointed this out that I was missing a ladle to serve with. They looked at me in disbelief! You don't have a ladle, Eric?! EVERYONE HAS A LADLE!!

That's when it hit me... What else was I missing? I then started imaging that somehow I missed this really important "life seminar" that everyone attends when they turn 22. The very first lesson of that life seminar is that "Everyone Needs a Ladle".

Feeling like I am 'missing something' has always been a deep fear of mine. I feel like I constantly compare myself with my peers and coworkers, and look at what they have versus what I don't have. I'm not sure why I do that, as it never leads to any positive thoughts.

Then when you read scripture, it says that God created us in His image and that we are God's handiwork (aka masterpieces). And it also says that "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.." (Philippians 1:6). Passages like this allow me to get rid of those thoughts that I have a missing piece. It instead allows me to focus on my unique skills, abilities, and strengths. I then focus on what I have, and how I can use my abilities to serve His kingdom. It gets me out of my own head and allows me to see a bigger picture.

Maybe you feel the same way. That you have missed out on a life seminar that everyone else attended, and you feel behind the eight ball. That is not the truth! You have a unique set of skills, strengths, and abilities that God gave you. What makes you different, makes you great.

Swahili Songs (Or, What I Experienced in Kenya)

 People often ask me about my recent mission trip to Nairobi, Kenya. And most of the time I just say, "Man it was awesome!" But after that I don't really know what to say. Should I invite them over for dinner, or grab coffee with them, to try to convey the beauty, and the love, and the plight? Even when I try to say what we did over there, and try to say that we served the people in Kenya, I feel like I'm lying to myself as I gained so much more from them.



In this blog, I want to try to capture what I experienced over there, and what lessons I have learned as I'm back at home.

1. God is big. This may seem like a simple statement, but I think that this may be my biggest lesson from my trip. We traveled 16 hours to a foreign land, and the staff at Missions of Hope International graciously hosted us all week. I truly felt like they were my brothers and sisters in Christ. When we had church services with them, they were so unashamed of the gospel, and of God. They were singing to their hearts content, and all of the kids were praying fervently to their God. Their God was the same God I worship back at home. God was already doing incredible things in the lives of these Kenyans, just like God was doing incredible things in my own life. The God of the universe is at work all over the Earth, and I experienced that really for the first time on my mission trip.
2. God is love. Probably the coolest experience over there was when I met my new friends in the eighth grade blue classroom, when we stayed at the Joska girl's boarding school. Before lights out, our team got to build relationships with the different classrooms. So for several nights I built relationships with these girls, and we sang songs, and I told them about my life back home. I did my best to sing with them and worship our Lord, but then when it was their turn to sing they broke into beautiful Swahili worship songs. They encircled you too, so it was better than playing a song on your car radio with sick bass. This was like God serenading you with song, and showing a new kind of love to you. This reminds me of the verse in the Bible, " The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17 NIV). Before Kenya, I prayed to God, "God, show me more of your love in Kenya. I want to experience your Love in a new kind of way." He did this by serenading me with song, with these awesome Kenyan eighth graders. On the last night there, these girls sung like usual, but then sang us a song of farewell. It was so beautiful. That night I experienced a love so rich and full. I cried and embraced them as I left, but then when I went back to my dorm I began to weep. I think what was going through my head was that I gave all of myself to these kids in such a short time, and maybe the next time I see them was going to be in Heaven. At that moment I felt all of the pain, that they have nothing, and yet all of the love that they have everything, because they have Jesus. I was so thankful to God that He gave me this experience that I will remember for the rest of my life.

3. The Spirit Unifies. This thought kind of goes with the first thought, but I definitely felt the Holy Spirit on the trip move, and unify the church. Even when I was with Kenyans, I did not think of race or culture or language barriers, I thought about God, and the church, and family. I experience community every week with my guys group and community group, but I experienced community on a larger scale with my brothers and sisters in Kenya. I can say to the staff, that I love them and was encouraged by them. And to all of those kids I meant during those VBS's. I could give them a high five, and say "My brother!" to this awesome sixth grade boy every day, and I could pray with this eleventh grade boy who's brother was addicted to drugs. Holy Spirit was definitely moving us and strengthening us. He was definitely guiding our team; a team of acquaintances, who now share a bigger bond because of this experience.

I don't know if this adequately describes my trip to Kenya, but I hope I summarized well. Because of this trip I am going to continue to love big, pursue God, and not put emphasis on my material possessions. As I have ten years left on my passport, I hope I can continue to see this world, love people, and make disciples.

Take the Good, with the Bad

"I know, LORD, that your laws are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me." Psalm 119:75 (NIV)

Last year, I had the worst anxiety of my life, seemingly coming out of nowhere. Most of it had to do with stress at work, but it was affecting me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I remember in my men's small group on Monday nights, before summer transitioned into fall, I would pace around the room while talking, and even listening to others. I couldn't sit still. My appetite even changed... I noticed at Subway, where before I put down foot longs of that oven roasted chicken, I was then only able to eat the 6 inch.

I remember during that time too, I prayed often for God to take away my anxiety. I didn't want to bear it any longer. It would continue though entering into the winter months. Anxiety is a curious thing to where I would be anxious for the things unknown to come out and get me. It felt like this nagging, creeping thing always in my head that would never let me go. Kind of like a wrestling match, where you are constantly struggling to get up from being pinned to the ground.

During these challenging months I could have ran away from my faith. I could have abandoned Him, and just said, "well hey if I have so much pain in my life, then God must have abandoned me. I will abandon Him." But.. I didn't. I ran to Him even harder, feeling like I needed Him even more.

God remains faithful, even if we are not. God never changes even though we often do. While my world was rocky, and things inside and out were changing all around, the only thing that made sense was to run to a God who was never changing, and always present. I would spend hours and hours just praying, and reflecting, and in His word, and just seeking Godly counsel. There were days where I felt God during these times like I've never felt him before.

I think that is why God allowed this anxiety to attack me, because He knew that it would strengthen my relationship with Him. I still don't really know why I had the anxiety like I did (and to this day I have my ups and downs), but I think I came out on the other end stronger. I also think because I had this battle, I am able to be a help to others struggling with anxiety.

I think we have to take the good with the bad, because I think we need both to strengthen our relationship with God. I think if we just run away from the bad, or if the bad didn't exist at all, then in our hearts we may feel like we don't even need something bigger than ourselves to get through life.

If you are going through a season of your life with anxiety, keep running towards God, and towards His word to get you through this. With good times, or bad, He will always remain faithful.

Skyscrapers

I love Cincinnati. Every time I see the beautiful skyline at night, when I'm coming home from a long trip I feel at peace. Over the river in Northern Kentucky, I can see the skyline from my kitchen window, and it almost looks mystical, like I'm looking at Oz or something.

The other weekend, I went downtown to a concert at our Fountain Square. I was like an hour and a half early, so I decided to take a walk around town. I decided to take the skywalk (public passage you can walk that connects to several buildings). While I was walking, in the midst of silence, I had some time to pause, pray, and reflect.


I remember when I was in High School, I really wanted to work in one of those skyscrapers. My career aspirations were as vague as my geometry class. I remember wanting to be a business man, and wanting to wear a suit everyday. I remember wanting my office to be in a skyscraper. I remember wanting to have a corner office, probably with my name etched on the door.

I was chasing an image, money and perhaps prestige. 

After graduating college, and working at a nonprofit, I realize now that my own definition of success has changed. Instead of chasing "stuff", which is always elusive, and always leaves you with wanting more, I want to chase after God, and people. I want to chase after love. 

Now I don't care about how much money I make. God will give me what I need to afford my living expenses. I would like to just pour out my compassion on people who need love the most; people who need to see light and hope. And that hope is Jesus! This makes me feel so much better, that I don't have to worry about making more money, or getting a job that sounds impressive, but that I can just run after God and love with all my heart.

Instead of chasing after more money, I want to chase after more love.

Jazz and Rain

How are you feeling?

Do you ever get asked this question, and you are just not really sure the answer? You may say fine, but you are not really. Or you may say "hanging in there" but you don't really feel stressed or overwhelmed?

Often times I don't really know how I'm feeling, and words possibly can't describe it.

I think things like Jazz and Rain describe feelings where words may not have an answer.

Right now I'm sitting back in my apartment listening to "Dave Brubeck's Greatest Hits" on Vinyl, watching the rain and quiet lightning outside my window. It definitely puts me in a pensive and reflective mood. It definitely does a great job evoking the unexplained feelings I may have.

For an introverted person, or maybe in us all, I think that we need to take the time to listen and not talk, be still amidst busyness, and reflect not react.

Are We Really That Different?

I went to a writers conference this past weekend in northeast Ohio. It was my first conference, and I was ready to network with other writers, and pick up some tips. The trip ended up being amazing! My favorite part wasn't necessarily the workshops (although they were great!) but it was more getting a chance to feel united with other writers. I met several new friends with diverse backgrounds. It was cool because after exchanging pleasantries with these conference goers, the next question was usually something along the lines of, "So what do you write?" I loved that perfect strangers can meet all in one building and have things in common. We all loved to write!

When I was younger, probably in middle school and high school, I had this mentality that I was vastly different from everyone else. I almost had this unspoken pride that I was more original and more unique than the common man. But I also felt lonely and alienated often during these years.

Are we really that different?

I really have started asking myself this question recently-usually ending up with the same answer: no not really. At this conference I befriended a retired engineer who had a cabin in Maine, and loved to fish. My story did not match that at all, but there we were united in the same room.

The Bible also talks about this idea of being united with other believers. Paul talks about in Ephesians that we should be of one body. The church, just one. Isn't that an amazing thought? We don't have to feel alienated and alone! Paul even says "From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work" (Eph 4:16 NIV). So we help each other grow, and build each other up because we are part of the same body.

What if you had a torn ligament and you just didn't take care of it??

Just like we take care of our body, we have to take care of each other! This makes me feel more connected to humanity than any other thought!

Hope this encourages!

Eric

Marriage, Anxiety, and Slobbery Pillows

For whatever reason, as I get into my late twenties, I am starting to become more anxious about marriage. Perhaps because it's becoming more realistic, and several friends around me are in this stage of life. Maybe it's because of the high divorce rate, and I want to make sure I find the right one.

In the past few weeks I've asked several of my married friends this one question:

"In marriage, do the rewards outweigh the obstacles?"

100% of them answered yes, and most of them an enthusiastic yes!

My qualitative research eased my mind a little bit, but then I keep thinking about being with someone for 50+ years, and I keep thinking about two imperfect people in their weakest moments, and all the arguments, and silent treatments. I keep thinking about this table full of women at the lunch table talking SMACK about their husbands, and how they practice buffoonery. I keep thinking about what happens when infatuation runs out, and romance fades. I keep thinking about an imperfect love between two people.

For whatever reason I have another crazy fear about marriage... I've never slept beside another person before (save for my brother growing up, where he would monopolize the bed!). A majority of the time I sleep on my stomach, and a lot of the times I wake up with slobber on my pillow. It's kind of gross to be honest with you. I'm trying to picture being married, and slobbering on my pillow like a helpless baby or something. What if my wife wakes up first and notices this disgrace? Or worse! What if I slobber on her hair or something! Then I will never hear the end of it! She will talk to all her lady friends the next day at work and say, "You'd never guess what my husband did!" Then I'd be rolled away as a circus act.

Being so preoccupied about this, I spoke to two friends, who are a young married couple. My buddy said that he slobbers all the time while he sleeps, and even accidentally slobbered on her! She played it off like it was no big deal.. She laughed at him, but the laughter wasn't cruel, it was endearing. That comforted me; I didn't see two people annoyed with each other, I saw two teammates and two friends.

I think more than anything I want a really good teammate in marriage. Someone who balances out my weaknesses. Someone who never belittles me, or makes fun of me to their friends. Someone who is a good collaborator with me. Someone who I can call best friend. I would like to find a love that goes beyond the "honeymoon stage", and I'd like to find a friendship that would last a lifetime.

Marriage is a perfect representation of Christ loving the church. I think real love has something to do more with sacrifice than it does teddy bears or roses. Christ loves us in our worst sin, and he died for us while we were still sinners. While his people were mocking Him and crucifying Him, all he could think about was forgiving them. I'm not sure if we will ever be able to measure up to His perfect love for us, but when I get married I sure am going to try to mirror this.

Jealousy

One of the worst feelings I've ever experiences was jealousy. I'm not just talking about your every day envy, wishing I had another guys new kicks, or new haircut. I'm talking more about an intense jealousy. One that burns inside, and hard to let go of.

I remember a while back, I was jealous of my best friend (of course it involved this other girl; one of those crazy love triangle situations). I remember feeling this incendiary jealousy towards my friend. I didn't want to feel this way towards him. He was my bro! He did nothing wrong! But that didn't stop this burning feeling on the inside. 

Then I got to thinking about something else. In the Bible, God's character is described as jealous: "How long, O Lord? Will you be angry forever? Will your jealousy burn like fire?' Psalm 78:58 NIV

When I look at versus like this it makes me realize something... If I felt a pain towards my best friend, God's pain must be even greater towards me when I don't give Him the proper attention and devotion. This concept alone makes me relate to God like nothing else. God loves us so much He sacrificed his son for us, while we were still sinning so that we could be with Him. He set us up to have the best life possible, and yet we continue to go down wrong paths. God pursues us, when we don't even know we need Him, and when we are so far gone. 

I always thought it was crazy in the Old Testament when God's chosen people kept on idolizing false gods, and running away from God. God's jealousy and wrath continue to grew, but He continued to have compassion and continued to pursue them (even when they were acting crazy!)

Like I said, this concept alone not only makes me relate to my Father more, but it also makes me want to draw closer to Him. I don't want God to experience a jealousy far greater than I experienced with my friend.

Black Coffee

This is the last week of 2015, which means it's a perfect time to reflect on this past year, and look forward to the new year...

As I dive into my late twenties, one change I realized I  made was drinking my coffee black. I'm not even sure why I've started this. It's usually on a week day morning when I'm rushing to work. I don't really care about adding taste to my coffee, I just need a warm drink to wake me up. The bitterness I welcome before I instruct and help dozens of adult learners. I start to really enjoy the taste of pure coffee. Sometimes now I order it in restaurants. My parents think I'm nuts, but I think this could be a subtle transition into turning more into an adult.

That's where I really start to reflect, as we are on the verge of 2016. Adulthood. It's one of those things where you never really know where the transition is. I thought I would feel more like an adult after college, or when I got my first "big boy job". I thought it might have occurred when I moved out on my own. The strangest thing is I still have the same thoughts, feelings, and disposition as I remember having back in the eighth grade. And I certainly wasn't an adult then!

This is an unusual time for me. I'm watching a lot of change happen, and I've never really been a big fan of change-both good and bad. As I sit back and sip my black coffee I just watch the people I'm closest to change all around me. One of my closest friends just had their first child! As I held little Samuel for the first time, I felt a tinge of joy and apprehension. Could I be next? Am I supposed to have one of these... soon???

Also another one of my best friends and his wife bought a house on the west side, and my twin brother and his wife are looking for houses. This brought another feeling of, should I be looking for one of those too? I mean my twin brother is! I have to keep up with the sibling rivalry!

Maybe adulthood happens when you get married, buy a house, or have a baby- junctures that I have yet to cross. But some of my friends would look at me incredulously saying how much I have changed in the past few years. Maybe we notice change in others, but not change in ourselves?

I am looking forward to what's ahead in 2016. I don't know what change is to come, but I know there is going to be change whether I like it or not.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Whispers in the Night

"Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper." 1 Kings 19: 11-12


Have you ever hoped for God to speak to you in a huge way? Like you're faced with a huge life decision, and you just wish God could show up with fanfare and let you know clearly which choice to make? I know I have. Especially here recently; the older I get I feel like the more confusing things get.


The above passage comes from 1 Kings in the Old Testament. Elijah is about to be in the presence of the Lord on this mountain. The Lord informs Elijah that he is about to pass by. While Elijah was waiting for the Lord, he came across a violent wind, an earthquake, and even fire. None of these phenomenon's revealed the Lord's presence though. Instead the Lord came in a gentle whisper.


I love this passage so much! It really speaks to me. It's insane to me that the Lord reveals himself in a gentle whisper, instead of something huge! A lot of times I wait for something huge, but all along as I'm waiting He is just right by me, closer than my next breath, and He is just whispering to me.


Do you ever hear His whisper? Not audibly maybe but a simple nudging, or just a sense. I know I sure have. In high school I remember creating these "get away" spots, when I was feeling bad, or lonely, or confused. I remember real late at night playing basketball at the bottom of my street by myself. I was just shooting hoops and talking to God, and I felt Him close by. I remember escaping to Tower Park, and in the woods praying, feeling, and listening. I remember in college feeling God's presence one night at midnight. I came back after a late bible study, and was starving. I went to Mcdonalds drive thru, and sat on the hood of my car just having a conversation with Him. After college, I remember this one Thursday night, I had an interview the next day. I went to another one of my get away spots with an awesome view of this airport and it's runaways. As I was looking at the stars, and watching planes take off, I was just praying to Him, nervous about this big interview. He comforted me.


Is He whispering to you in the night? What is He saying? You just have to listen real close. Don't expect something huge. While you are hoping, and waiting for something HUGE to happen, He is already gently whispering to you.

Lightning Bugs

I'm usually not a big fan of insects, but I can't help but to love lightning bugs in the summertime. Actually they may even be considered my favorite animal. Their anatomical makeup is very intriguing to me... how do they light up like that? Is it some form of communication, feeling, or is it something a little more physiological? While I will do a little more digging on these questions (I'm obviously not a science nerd), I have more sentiments towards these creatures that are more abstract.

Lightning bugs remind me of summertime. I remember collecting them in a jar when I was a kid. I remember seeing them all around when I was hiding during an intense game of Manhunt. While nostalgia always haunts me (refer to a previous post of mine Old Friends) I allow my thoughts to be entertained by warm childhood memories and dreams while I lay around my apartment in reflection.

A few nights ago I was with two of my good friends. My friend is lucky enough to have this secluded apartment next to this big field. During the night, this field is illuminated by thousands of lightning bugs fluttering about. I don't know which view is more of a sight the big night sky, or this field of fireflies. The stars and the lightning bugs battle for my gaze. While the three of us were on this small deck looking out into the vastness, I not only thought about the innocence of my youth, but I just felt so inspired and alive. Summer always promises romance, passion, adventure, and reckless abandon.

My friends and I were just laughing, swapping stories, sharing life, but sometimes we just all took the moment in. I know that I'll never get a chance to relive that moment again, and that I'll never be or feel this young again, and that there is no looking back, but I think I will remember that moment for a long time. I also think that there will be a future moment like that where I will get to laugh, or experience joy or youth or spontaneity.

In the middle of summer, we all find hidden treasures. They could be in the form of firecrackers on the fourth of July, feeling the humid air or walking along the shore. Or they could be in the form of little lightning bugs, collectively making a beautiful display that mimics the starry night.

On Relationships

Recently your introverted blogger has been pondering really tough questions about relationships, community, love, and loneliness. There has been several great things that has happened in the past few years, as I've been so humbled to be apart of weddings, and seeing brand new relationships formed. But I've also been there for breakups and heartache, and confusion and chaos. I've seen how relationships can change a man, and I've seen how pursuits of love gone awry can leave long lasting impressions much more lingering than the blistering heat of summer. After years of observation, here are some of my notes.

1. Loneliness is not alleviated by a person: In my endless quest for finding love, and in my observation of seeing so many relationships, I have come to realize that my loneliness isn't going to be cured by being in a relationship. I've seen friends in lonely marriages or relationships, I've seen frustration and anxiety from bad relationships that's been ten times more worse than my singleness or my loneliness. Each season in your life has it's ups and downs. The grass is always greener on the other side...

2. Human relationships will always be imperfect: Humans don't have the capacity to love. We need a Lord and Savior to understand what love is. God is love. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." 1 Corinthians 13:4. Without God in the picture, there will never be this perfect love. Crushes wear off. Young love wears off. Honeymoon phase wears off. What's left is two imperfect humans bringing a chest full of baggage. We need a Lord to perfect this love.

3. Singleness is an opportunity: I just went on this crazy cool 100 mile bike ride where I spent much time praying and reflecting. I've got to be apart of so many cool opportunities where I might've missed out on if I have been in a relationship. I get to do so many cool things like volunteer, serve the church, invest time and energy in loving people, and a lot of it has to do with my singleness. I think if I was in a relationship I would be prone to worry or focus all my energies on pleasing her.

4. Loneliness is the absence of the spirit, not the absence of a person: God has taught me this while I was on my bike ride reflecting. I was miles away from family and friends. I was staying at a bed and breakfast at a new town knowing nobody. I did not feel loneliness however. I felt so close to God. "Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139:7-10. Just being in communion with the Lord and the spirit is all I need when it comes to squelching loneliness.

5. I don't deserve my family and my friends: I went to Cleveland on a trip with my brother, and he said something like, "I don't deserve you or mom and dad, or my friends." and that really made me think. Neither do I. I have such a great family. My brother and my parents. They have been there with me through the good times and the bad. They have been so loving and nurturing, but also so challenging and inspiring. My friend group also has been truly a blessing. We have challenged each other spiritually, have been on multiple journeys, comforted each other, and celebrated with each other. I feel like it's constantly growing too, as I'm becoming less guarded and more open to sharing life with people.

Be thankful for the people you have in your life. Every season has its challenges, so don't waste time and energy hoping for the next season (hoping that you will be more happier, and less lonely). Continue to live and love, and if you're going to be searching for something, search for the Lord, and never give up.

Much love,

Eric

Swing Dancing

So there I was out swing dancing with a few friends. I haven't been in a year, and I was very rusty. The first hour was a beginners course, followed by 2 hours of open floor dance where all the professionals came out of the woodwork.

I danced a few rounds with the friends I was with, only using the arsenal of moves I learned at the beginners course (which wasn't very much). I noticed all around me were more advanced dancers, moving their partners off their feet and transitioning into different dance styles. As I sat down watching the heat rise on the dance floor, my confidence began to fall. I saw fancy foot work, smooth moves, and smiling faces.

I tried to branch out and dance with partners not in my group. Every time I picked a victim, I always warned them that I was a beginner. Followed by the warning I would ask for advice on new moves, since I only knew a few basic steps. Most of the girls told me that "they weren't really good at leading".

That's when it hit me all at once....

I had to be the leader...a confident leader. That's what these ladies wanted and needed. They wanted to be led. They were graceful and beautiful and had great moves, but they just needed someone to initiate the moves. All of these guys I saw on the dance floor were great leaders. I realized that's what I was missing. That's what I'm always missing. Confidence and Initiative.

Somehow I need to become a great leader. I need to develop confidence like all these dancers with their fancy shoes. I talked to this one guy, and he just said he's been doing it for years, and it just takes experiences. That's what they all said. Maybe so. Maybe I just need to put myself in situations that will develop my confidence and leadership ability.

Swing dancing reminds me a lot of life. It's one huge metaphor. I will keep trying, even though I may fall or look silly. I will keep trying.

Tying Ties

A few weeks ago I had this incredible opportunity at work to help one of my students find an outfit for his court appearance. This court date was to determine if he would get custody of one of his children, and he wanted to look presentable. I took him to the second floor where we store all of our clothing donations. Going in there, I was just going to have a seat, while he rummaged through outfits trying on clothes behind closed doors. But I had no idea that I was about to be his fashion advisor.

He tried on a few suits, that fitted awkwardly on his slim frame. I suggested a shirt (and shirt size) that would go well with the suit that he picked. He eagerly opened up the new brooks brothers shirt, and admired his new style. Then we looked at the ties. He gave me full confidence that I could pick out a tie that would match his outfit. I decided on a red one. Simple. Classic.

Then he said something that will always stick with me. He said, "I hope you know how to tie a tie, because I never learned. My dad never taught me."

It was such a cool moment. Here is this 30 year old, tatted up, lead a very rough life, and now is facing many obstacles. He had the humility to not only admit this, but also let me tie it for him, put it on, and button his top buttons on his shirt.

I had a few epiphanies at this moment; 1.) I realized how important the role of a father was. There are so many families with absent fathers (either physically or mentally). I met multiple families while working in social services where the father/husband/boyfriend just packed his bags and left. It's a very hard responsibility and these men aren't accepting the challenge! Men need to step up! We need real men to save families. Their roles range from tying ties to loving and respecting their wives, to providing financially and spiritually when work is SO exhausting and tough.

2.) I realized then, even though I am terrified, that I think I have what it takes to be a father. Here I was, tying a tie for this 30 year old who is trying to get his life back on track. I wasn't just tying his tie, I was being patient and kind with him. I was just being there. He later called me his big brother. It's just so crazy. I'm just so blessed.

Afterwards he started talking about his past life, and started talking negatively about himself. I just told him that God loved him. Even though I'm not aloud to share my faith at work, I had to tell him the truth.

He ended up gaining custody of his child, and now he walks to class proudly in his suit, along with other nice clothing that he got at our second hand clothing store. It's so cool watching him grow into a whole new person. God gets all the glory! Spending time with him that day was such an awesome moment. I don't think that I will ever forget it.

Ichthus

"It's a conversation for those who know about it, and a conversation for those who don't"



Last week I went to a Waffle house with a good friend of mine. Ironically enough, my friend and I were just talking about working out more now that the weather was getting nicer, and this night we were doing the opposite of that! But there's something about Waffle house that attracts me like a moth hovering over a porch light. Maybe it's the coffee or the greasy food. Maybe it's the cheap prices. Or maybe it's because of getting to meet awesome waitresses like Rita.

When our waitress noticed my friend and I praying before we dug into the heart attack specials, she commented that "you don't see that nowadays", and I think it made her hopeful for the younger generation. When I was finished eating, Rita cashed me out, and we began talking about our home churches, and about God.

After a short pause, I asked her if she liked her job, and she said without hesitation that she did. She said that Waffle house was her mission field, and that she uses this opportunity to tell people the good news! Then she pointed to my check, and I noticed that she drew an ichthus fish on it. She said the above statement, "it's a conversation for those who know about it, and a conversation for those who don't." I was just blown away. It's so cool how a little fish symbol means so much! I can feel instantly connected with someone, just by looking at the back of their car, or in this case, a restaurant bill. I then told her to stand her post, and keep up the good work.

I was just so encouraged that Rita, my sister in Christ, is on the mission field at Waffle house on Route 18. Now whenever I eat there, I can feel a little bit more confident that these patrons are hearing some good news.

Phileo

Love Jesus, Love like Jesus


I was out recently with some friends who started this ministry group handing out sack lunches to some homeless folks in our community. We stopped at one of our last stops-across the street from this popular marketplace. Intermingled with hungry college kids, and health conscious young professionals is this joyful singing man on the street. We've been visiting this man for 2 years, and listened to his golden pipes and bold street preaching. I'm really not sure what his full story is, but I know that he loves Jesus.

When he was finished saying his goodbyes to our group of about 8, he spotted me (a shy guy who usually listens to him in the background-admiring from afar), and asked how I was doing. After a minute of catching up he said, "I love you brother." He said this with such sincerity. As I looked at him, a man who looked nothing like me, having a mouth full of absent teeth and scraggly hair, I was in awe that real love breaks barriers of race and socioeconomics. Real love unites brothers and sisters of Christ. We are all one body!

I've been saying "I love you" a lot recently. Not only to family members, but to close friends among others like our singing friend. I'm an instructor at a job training program, and I really feel this love for my students. Even though there are some days I get frustrated, dealing with disobedience, or chronic absenteeism, I feel this "phileo" love that the Bible talks about. It's almost this unconditional love; I'm not going to say that this love is perfect, because I still am trying to figure out the mystery of the perfect love of God. But it may be as close as perfect as things will get here on earth. And I wouldn't say I was like this a year or two ago.

God is so good. He has taught me so much recently. I just love everyone that God has surrounded me with, and just people in general. I hope we can all really dig into scripture and discover what real love looks like.

With love,

Eric

 

We'll Always Have Paris

I love the line in the film Casablanca, when Rick knows that he is not going to see his former lover Ilsa again. He tells her that, "we'll always have Paris" referring to a brief courtship they had on the eve of WWII, when events split them apart. He we letting her know in this moment that 1) they will most likely never see each other again, and 2) they can both share a cherished moment, and store that in their memory bank forever.

While ideas like this aren't very realistic and might sound good in a movie, I am fascinated by it. I am fascinated by the idea that two people or a group of people can share a moment, store it in their memory banks, and revert back to it in hard times or nostalgic times.

My family and I went on a trip recently to Natural Bridge, where we spent many hours bonding and hiking. I stupidly forgot to bring my Nikon camera, so at first I was bummed that I wouldnt get a chance to capture any of these awesome times. But then I got to thinking... Do I really need a camera? What would I do with the pictures? Collect them in some sort of scrapbook and let it collect dust? Post them on facebook so the whole world could see special moments with my family? I'm not sure if the whole world cares, or if they need to see these moments. There might be some moments where they are supposed to be behind a curtain--and the only parties that can see those moments are those parties that were there.

One of my best friends just got engaged this week, and it was a very touching moment. The way he had it set up was essentially having all his friends there at a small gathering, so there can be pictures and a video of this special occasion. Pictures are great! A video is fantastic! Don't get me wrong on this. But I will never forget this memory; not because of a few facebook photos or a video, but because of the excitement, tenderness, and vulnerability of the moment.

I always tell my friends when I propose  it's going to be a very simple moment. It will be a very intimate moment, but very simple. No cameras, no video, not even friends. It will just be me and her sharing that moment. Then we will always have it. We can always revert back to it. And it will be special because NOBODY else experienced that moment but us. Doesnt that sound cool or am I just being crazy? Maybe my girlfriend will say no unless all of those other elements are around us, I have no idea!

It is on the eve of fourth of july... Happy Independence Day everyone!!!

Best,

Eric

Risk and Reward

So far 2013 has become the year of risks for me. I tend to be attached to my comforts, and live my life governed by fear... The complete opposite of how God wants me to live. He wants me to live my life to the FULLEST!

Back in March, I decided to take a roadtrip by myself to West Virginia. I set a destination (Hillbilly Hotdog Stand) and decided to go. This trip wasn't about hot dogs, but it was about living life outside of fear, and trusting in God. Many things could have gone wrong on the trip--pack of coyotes or pack of hillbilly's attacking me, car troubles out the wazoo, crazy weather. But I needed to do this for myself. I needed to do this for God. It took me 3 1/2 to go grab lunch, and I wouldn't take it back in a heartbeat.

I'm about to take another risk--moving out and living on my own. I would be living in an urban area close to my work. I lived in the same town for 25 years. I would consider myself to be sheltered, as I don't know how to do many things, and I haven't experienced many things. But living on my own, I would get baptized by fire in a sense. This risk would equal great reward.

I think that complacency is agonizing. Alot of times I just don't make moves. I don't move out. I dont ask the girl out. I get afraid of job descriptions when looking at promotions. But this year I learned that taking risks is rewarding. Yeah, you could get your heart burned. Things could get messy. Things could get 10x more confusing. But the reward is so much greater.

I think that taking risks is good for your faith. I think God puts us in situations where we are called to be bold and take risks.

What would life be like if we choose not to live life in fear?

Old Friends

I was at my old alma mater last week (Go Norse!) a few times. The first time I was helping out my fraternity, and the second time I went to the NKU Bands concert. Being in the Concert Band all throughout college, I experienced a wave of nostalgia. It really got me thinking about old places and old faces...

Nostalgia has always been an enemy of mine. Thinking about good times are good, but to have a longing for the past? Is that really healthy? I have had so many good memories at NKU. The crazy thing was, when I went back for both events, there were new faces everywhere. Was I even at the same place, or was it a variation of the same place? I started to feel like I was 67 years old. Those young wipper snappers. Whatever that means.

Then I had some other thoughts, that were scarier. All those friends I hung around with at NKU-whether in my fraternity, or around the music department, or around the communication department. Where are they now, and why haven't we been keeping in touch? Would they remember me or did I become a ghost in the past? Am I obsolete to them?

This brings me to the key question I want to present here: How do good friends become old friends?

You know how you catch up with a friend you havent seen since the good old days? You're at a wedding, and you run into that person. You may introduce others to that person like, "this is a dear old friend of mine from college. We haven't seen each other in years." Then that whole time you spend catching each other up-talking about old faces and old places. Then, you say your goodbyes. Maybe say we should get the old gang back together. But in the hustle and bustle of life, you know that'll never happen. Maybe a happy birthday on facebook, or a christmas card.

But the friendship was GREAT in college. It was so engaging and engrossing. Just something happened where you lost touch.

Then you keep in contact with a close circle of friends from college that journey through life with you. I'm fortunate enough to have a close circle of friends I see every week. And if not weekly, I know that I'll see them. I know that we are connected, and haven't lost touch.

Maybe life is just a series of intertwined paths. Sometimes you intersect with someone else's path for YEARS, or sometimes its just a couple of months. Then your life just takes you on a different path away from the group. Maybe God just connects us with people, and gets us away from relationships that could be damaging in the long run.

Why does there have to be that effort when trying to keep in touch with someone? You tell an old friend, "Hey lets meet up for coffee," but then it just takes weeks to plan, or schedules just conflict, then both parties forget to set something up. But then other times its very seamless.

I would love to make that effort in really connecting with old friends, close friends, and all of my relationships. Take some serious time to invest in these people God has put in my life. Even though sometimes it may be harder to reconnect... I'm just going to keep trying.