The Power of Hugs

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.
-Virginia Satir

I remember back in 2006, on the eve of "Move In Day" of my Freshman Year of college, I went to Dixie Chilli with my best friend, and my brother. My friend was going off to a different college the next day as well, so we weren't going to see each other for a couple of months. As we said our goodbyes, we stood there for a brief second, realizing that just a simple handshake, or a simple goodbye wasn't going to cut it. We had to do a classic man hug*. And just that one simple gesture described the impact of our friendship.

Before that I didn't really even discover a hug, with exceptions of course to my family. But during the course of college, almost after every semester, there was that week of finals where I'd say goodbye to my new friends. Sure, maybe I didn't hug all the Bobby Jones' who borrowed my notes to copy down for a midterm. But all those classmates-turned-friends who you have an instant connection with, surviving the course together, sometimes having to spend hours in the library for a project, or the accumulation of hours after class talking about how crazy the professor was. You just need to finish out that term with a simple hug.

Less is More

I think that this expression fits the bill when it comes to hugging. A simple hug tells the story of frienship, love, appreciation, affection, dependancy, and sometimes even vulnerability. As a Communication Studies major, my interest was learning about nonverbal communication, body language, and more specifically Haptics, the study of touch. I learned that an astounding 93% of our communication is nonverbal! But with all that being said, I still feel this power, and energy after a hug. I feel an increased sense of connection, and closeness, aside from the physical proximity.

There are, I believe, different types of hugging. There's that really soft, wimpy and polite type of hug, where you think to yourself Oh, they don't like being hugged. I'm invading their personal space. Of course with these hugs, it's alright and everything but you don't feel the power. I'm mainly talking about the real, sincere, firm hugs, in which you feel the connection, and very relationship between the person and yourself. I remember on one of those final exam weeks, I said goodbye to a friend in my class with a hug. In my mind's eye, I was just visualizing her giving me a polite hug. But she gave me a real hug, holding it in place for a few seconds. That made my whole week, and sometimes that's tough during finals week!

I want to finish off this blog by showing you this 'chart' for lack of a better term. These are the levels of touch, according to me. Now I also want to say at this point, I mainly have this in mind with flirting (a whole blog about flirting will come at a later date!), or male/female relationships for example, but this could also be for all you bro's out there. Don't fear the hug!

"Levels of Touch"
1. Point/Tap
2. Highfive, or knuckles
3. Hold Shoulder/Massage Shoulder, etc
4. Highfive Hug (prolonged highfives, where you interlock fingers/hold in place
5. Double Highfive Hug
6. One handed hug/side hug
7. Normal Hug (Polite, quicker, less of a hold)
8. Real Hug w/ hold
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Unchartered Territory!


*Man Hug* (as defined by Eric) - You go for a normal handshake with your righthand, you proceed to shake hands while you reach back, and pat your friends back two times.