Growing Old

"But time makes you bolder, children get older, and I'm getting older too."
-Stevie Nicks


At first glance, people would look at this title and tell me that at 23 I'm not old yet. And I would agree with that. Maybe I should make a subtitle that states, "trying to cope with change". I've always resisted change. But that's just something that comes with growing old. As I'm at this weird point in my life that I'm not a kid, and I'm not (or at least I dont feel like) an adult, I can't help but to comtemplate on age, mortality, and annoying yet inevitable change.

One thing about change that I've been noticing is that it always messes with relationships. Close circles of friends for instance, can over time just dissapear. Now maybe you'll always remain "Best friends forever", but for some reason somebody has to move away, or the responsibilites of growing old just is too much for regular contact. Or there could be a complete change of hobby, and new peer groups could be entered in the mix. Whatever it is, change just shakes things up when it comes to relationships.

And things just have to happen so fast too. One second we're in college, hanging out at applebees, and then the next second friends are getting married, having children, moving away for a job. I almost feel like things are just unraveling at the seams. But really I have to learn to embrace it.

I would really love to grow old with someone. You know, the whole settling down thing with a family and all that. Then I wouldnt have to worry about all my friends moving away, or getting to busy with life. Maybe I would catch up to them every once and a while. We would poke fun at our gray hair, or receding hair lines, and then look back on all the good times. Then we would go our own seperate ways again, but it would be okay because I would have a beautiful family to go back to. I guess what I'm trying to say is, when I find my soul mate, coping with change would be easier.

I've been absent for a little while on this blog, but I hope to update a little more periodically. Right now I'm really trying to make drastic self improvements this summer. From gaining confidence to overcoming my fears and anxiety. I am still looking for the right job, and I pray that God can just give me the wisdom to not worry about it, but instead focus on good things like loving others, loving jesus, and learning to love myself!