Give Me a Chance!

So there it was: the perfect job at a local non-profit, in which I could build skills, and get my foot in the door. Every job requires experience, and the only way to get experience is to get a job. I thought I finally got past the vicious catch 22 cycle. It was a $10 an hour admin support job. I have my bachelors, I expressed interest through emailing the recruiter, I was well qualified for the position. I took their assessment test, and then they called me the following week seeing what my salary requirements were. I said the starting pay was fine. Surely I would get a chance to interview with them.

They never called me again. No chance for an interview.

I graduated a year and a half ago. I took a job that wasn't a good fit for me (I figured I'd give it a try. How was I supposed to know?) Now, with low confidence, and an intense frustration, I keep on trying. Not too long ago, I applied for my dream job: An admissions position at a college, in which I would be conducting tours, aiding the admissions staff etc. I not only qualified, I wrote a cover letter filled with passion, telling them that this was my dream job, and how excited I was. No chance for an interview. No response. Don't they wonder at least, "hey this guy has his bachelors in communications, and is obviously very interested. Sounds like he would be a good fit. Should we interview him and find out more about him?" Nope.

Give me a chance! I am a smart guy who has many skills, strengths, and passions. Every single one of my managers and co-workers at my restaurant job will vouch for me. Same with the non-profit agency I volunteer for. They would go on and on how great I am to work with. I get along well with everyone (even those who are hard to get along with), I have a superb attitude and work ethic, and I have impeccable character (loyalty, honesty, integrity, doing the right thing when no one is looking). I am just so tired of this! I would so love to be called for more interviews! That's all I'm asking for!

Please excuse this rant. I just need to be patient and trust in the Lord more. Plain and simple.

Hopefully I will be in a better mood next post!

Merry Christmas,

Eric

I'm Not a Thrill-Seeker...And That's Okay!

So there I was, at Kings Island. The place where I swore I was never going to go again. Not only was it Kings Island, but it was their "Halloween Haunt". I don't like roller coasters, nor do I like haunted houses. What was I doing there though? Was there a secret part of me that wanted to prove something? I ended up having a good time, as I went through 8 haunted houses. But as I was in line for one of the coasters with my friends (just to hang with them while they get on the dreaded thing, and I jump to the exit line!), they were pressuring me the ENTIRE way:

"Eric, WHY don't you want to ride it? Give me a good reason!"
"Eric, what's the worst that could happen? You arent going to die!"
"Eric, you HAVE to do this to conquer your fears!"
"This is just A KIDDIE ride!"
"(Some random guy in line) My (insert family member here) hated roller coasters, and she rode this one, now she is obsessed with them! Get on it!"
"You just have to try it once! We won't bother you again if you try it and dont like it!"
"When was the last time you have rode one? It's going to be different this time!"

I'm sure you get my point by now, I just needed some time to vent. Instead of having fun with my group, and instead of them just talking about how much they were looking forward to it, or even, talking to me about what I would like to do that night, they just kept pressuring me that I had to ride it, or (blank). Or what? I'm not a man if I dont get on this thing? I'm not living my life to the fullest? I'll regret my life if I don't get strapped down, and jerked around on a death machine? The point is, I'm not a thrill-seeker...and that's okay!

I have so many hobbies, and so many passions. I have so many things I do that is carved into the fabric of my being. I go biking for miles and miles, which some of my other friends can't keep up with me. I'm a beast at racquetball. I love God, and am not ashamed of it. I love a good cheeseburger, or a philly cheesesteak. I have managed to make ping pong not only a sport, but an art. I love hiking.. especially when we go off the beaten path into the creeks. At the YMCA, I take yoga class for an hour, followed by an hour of KICKBOXING (coming from my background in martial arts, where I am a first degree black belt). I play the trumpet, and I LOVE music, especially the classic stuff. I volunteer at the Brighton Center with retirees, and LOVE it. I love ice cream, and watching movies. I'm obsessed with coffee. I wrote a book. I'm a man.

I can say all that stuff, but then when we go to kings island, all of a sudden my manhood is at stake. I get the sense that I have to prove something. I feel embarrased that I don't want to ride this, as 50 people in line are looking at me thinking "look at that chicken!" Then it gets worse. I feel like I'm going to be single forever because I don't want to ride this ride, which translates into I don't grab the bull by the horns, which translates into I'm not wild, and adventurous, which translates into I'm not a man.

The truth of the matter is, I'd rather go to the dentist than ride a roller coaster. Plain and simple. I'm not going to pay 5,000 dollars, and take out a consumer loan, by going to this theme park, and doing stuff I don't want to do. I'll say the same for Euchre too. I'm not going to sit somewhere for 5 hours, getting yelled at by my partner, and getting frustrated that I still dont understand the game. I'd rather go for a run, or have a cup of coffee with a really close friend. That's what I enjoy. The simple things. If that means that I'll never get a girlfriend, because I'm not adventurous enough, than fine. It's their loss.

Do what you love to do. If someone pressures you into doing something you dont want to do, like swim, dance, play badmitton, or ride roller coasters, just say "Nah, that's not really my cup of tea." Period. No need to explain, and then move on. You shouldn't feel pressured, or feel like your manhood is at stake, or that you have to prove something. There are so many more things that define you than your want to ride roller coasters.

God bless!

Eric

Midnight Snack

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night with the munchies? I do. Actually I don't even wake up... it's more like before I go to bed (which is sometimes in the wee hours of the night! Shame on college screwing with my sleep schedule!) Anyway, my favorite midnight snack is milk and cookies. For those who know me will attest that I am an avid milk drinker. I like 2%, and whole milk. Cold or warmed up. Yes that's right you heard me correctly. I thought that drinking warm milk would be the cure to get my sleep schedule back on track. Instead it's just another strange quirk I picked up and a great conversation starter.

I find it so eerie though when I walk down the stairs at night. Not another soul is awake. The refrigerator reveals a bright light that you never really notice any other time. I stand around in that kitchen, staring at the window. The crazy part is, I keep thinking I will see some sort of ghost boy or something. I was talking with my friends at college a year or so ago, and they had these intense ghostly encounters. And ever since then, I keep waiting until it happens to me. 

I also find it eerie, that I feel like I'm the only one up on the entire street, maybe even the entire block. I use this time often to pray to God, and just reflect on some things. That's a good time to do that too because nothing else is going on at the moment. Psalm 46:10 says "Be still, and know that I am God". I think it's important to just take some time to literally be still and reflect on how God has control of everything, and the fast, panicky thoughts of life are wasting your energy!

I hope this food-for-thought was helpful! Enjoy this awesome month of October!

The Best Compliment I've Ever Received

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing
1 Thessalonians 5:11


I was talking to one of my favorite customers the other night. I haven't seen him all summer, so I sat down with him for 10 minutes before I clocked in. He's a retired cop, who's stuck in his ways. He doesn't have a wife to keep him company, so he always sits in a booth by himself. He told me something that night that I will never forget. He said, "Eric, I've only met about 10 people in my life who I liked right off the bat. And you're one of them." He also added, "and I'm an old man too!" I was truly honored and was almost brought to tears!

What does a compliment like that say about me? I kept on thinking about it that night and the next day. What if it means that If I'm this likeable, and I made an impact in this guys life, what if I can impact others lives? I've always wanted to just impact lives, whatever my profession may be. But now with this guys encouragement I feel like I can really meet that goal.

Encouragement is so important. Something so small as a smile I think can really impact someones day, and encouraging words can impact someones life!

This may have been a shorter post, but I just had to share this bit of information!

Have a blessed day!

Competition

"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do"

John Wooden

I was never a competitive kid growing up. I played soccer for 10 years, and was only able to score 1 goal! Not that I was on defensive most of the time either. Actually my favorite part about the soccer games was the post game snack. I also tried baseball, basketball, and received my black belt in Taekwondo. While the latter was a great accomplishment, the only trophies I recieved was "competitor trophies" a nice way of saying that I participated in the tournament, but didn't win anything!

I dont know when it hit me, but sometime around college I became competitive. A couple of my favorite sports is Table Tennis, and Racquetball. Table Tennis takes a great deal of hand-eye coordination, quickness, and skill. My trainer/good friend, taught me the art of how to spin the ball, in which I used to my advantage. In my four years at college, I became one of the greatest at the Baptist Student Center. Sure, there were guys who were better than me, but I started, at least, making a name for myself.

There is nothing like Racquetball either. Not only does it have "Willy Wonka" style doors, and echoing sounds, but it's the perfect stress reliever, as you can just hit that ball as hard as you can in the enclosed room. I started playing racquetball in middle school, but actually learned how to play for real later in high school. It doesn't take much equipment, it's very easy to learn, and it's very addicting!

The larger point I wanted to make on this blog was that having a competitive spirit can be a great thing. Early on in life, my main thought was I just don't really care. Why does playing this game matter? And it is just recreational. But what if these games are one giant metaphor for overcoming obstacles, and battling your inner-demons? It's about developing effort, and a will, that if even if you loose you can say that you gave it your best and move on. It's about gaining confidence, and even gaining a passion.

Now with all that in mind, I think there are alot of people who take it too far. When sports and competition takes priority over God, then it's an unhealthy competitive spirit. When you tear others down, become very angry and out of control, then it's an unhealthy competitive spirit. When you become a sore loser, or a sore winner, then you're missing the whole point about competition. It's all about good sportsmanship, encouraging others to do their best, and doing your best.

Exercise, Meditation, and Praise

It's 11:00pm on a humid july night. I get my bike out because this was the only time I found that was actually cool enough to enjoy a ride. I test out my brand new night light, an awesome upgrade from a little reflector that cars can barely see. I ride out to my favorite spot, which has a spectacular view overlooking the river, and airport runaways. If I'm lucky, I can spot planes landing or taking off to the great beyond.

It's in this moment where I have a moment in prayer to God. Not using big fancy words, or going into a ritual or a routine, but really just talking about my problems, and barriers, and most of all just asking for guidance. After I stare at the clouds, and lay down for a moment in the grass (shortly getting up after bothersome bugs and an uncomfortable bed of grass needles!) I get up and ride back home, continuing to talk to my creator, and just trying my best to listen.

Exercise, Meditation, and Praise is the PERFECT combination. Not only is it physically healthy, but it's also emotionally and spiritually healthy. While going to the gym has it's perks, I always feel like it's a chore. Plus I never know what to do. There are so many free weights, and machines. It's an indecisive persons worst nightmare! As I alluded to before, biking is one of the activities I enjoy in which I can not only get my workout in, but I can also spend time reflecting, and praying.

Since the start of the year though, I also picked up a new obsession, which is starting to really be ingrained in my identity: Praise Moves. Praise Moves is yoga incorporated with scripture, and prayer. I met a group of girls that do this in a small dance studio in Independence. The best part about it is, I feel like it's a small life group rather than a large yoga class you would find at a gym. Its an hour where you can just not think about all the problems in life, and get that spiritual encouragement from a community of believers. The bonus of this life group is getting a good workout, and increasing your balance and flexibility!

I conclude this blog by encouraging everyone to just get out there and stay active! Find a new activity, and a new small group that will encourage you, and help you get through the week.

"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20

God Bless!

Eric

A Sense of Adventure

If I can sum up the month of july into one word it would probably have to be adventure. This month, I went on two trips: the first to Natural Bridge, which included uphill hikes in the wilderness (keeping in mind of possible bear encounters), and the second to Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge, which included tubing down a "lazy river" with some rapids and rocks, and doing an intense indoor ropes course!

I never really thought of myself as an adventurous guy. I always kid around saying stuff like, "my idea of adventure is trying lobster at Red Lobster." It wasn't until my mom said after my gburg trip, "You are the most adventurous in our family!" that I started to realize, you know what? Maybe I have gained a sense of adventure!

The craziest thing I did this month however was ironically not on any of these trips, but right here at home at a college worship night with some friends. It started out mild enough, and very awesome as we sang some songs, and just had a real deep, moving discussion. But then one of the guys, who is notorious for organizing these late night events called "adventure nights", decided that the group should go on one that night! With work in the morning, at first I declined, but then as he said we should be back at the house at 12:30am, I said "why not!"

The first rule of adventure night is that the destination was a secret. So we drove to this park over in Mt. Lookout in Cincinnati. We walked up this observatory, which was nice. I kept thinking about the park hours.. 10:00pm. It was now around midnight. While everyone else was looking at the views, or taking pictures, I was just hoping that the cops weren't going to swarm us and throw us in jail!

After a few moments up on the observatory, we descended back down, stopping at this trail in the woods. "You gotta be kidding me" I thought. Are we really going in there?

So we went on this trail. I think I said "I dunno about this" like twenty times throughout the course of our walk. If it wasn't for my keychain light (which I got at Natural Bridge), dimly lit cell phones, and a really bright camera flash, we would have only been guided by moonlight.

Then we went off course! I was so scared. Why did I agree to do this? I had to be up for work, and now I'm following these crazy guys in the woods. What if we get lost? What if, what if, what if. But I kept going along with them. We ended up at this old railroad. Okay, this is pretty cool. Now we can go back! I thought. But we kept going.

We walked until this railroad turned into a rail-bridge! Here we were walking on these wooden planks over this 50 ft drop. "Why did I do this!" I kept saying.

But in the end I did it. We walked back across the bridge, found the trail, and went safely home. Sure I went to bed at 3:00am. Sure I was tired the next day. But you know what? I learned something that night. I'm not even sure what I learned either. Maybe that there's no reason to be fearful when God is watching over us. Maybe that breaking out of routine and out of my shell results in a fun, and rewarding experience.

Will I do it again? For sure. I'm definitely not going to become an adrenaline junky, but I'm also not going to become the person who's most adventurous moment is trying lobster.

Feeling like an Idiot

Boss- "Eric do these reports!"

Me- "What reports?!"
A vision I have from time to time as I think about working in an office.

It was my senior year of high school, and it was my last year of marching band. Now those of you who haven't experienced marching band before, lemme tell you it's not for the faint of heart. Band Camp is especially grueling in the summer with 2 or 3 weeks of long days rehearsing, and marching. When we did drill, or get in fundamental blocks, we had to stay at attention for 10-30 minutes it seemed like before they would dismiss us, or give us our next order. That was my least favorite part. Not that my trumpet was heavy or anything, but just staying there at a pose with it for a long period of time, I just squirmed about. Well anyways, there was one day my senior year when we were rehearsing our show later in the season. I was on the 50 yard line. They made us stay at attention for awhile.. right after we just marched for 7 minutes or so. It was one of those times where we just needed a water break. Well I was squirming about, getting tired. Our marching band instructor yelled at me over the microphone infront of everyone. "ERIC QUIT MOVING WHEN YOU ARE AT ATTENTION! YOU ARE ON THE 50 YARD LINE! YOU ARE A SENIOR FOR GOD SAKES!!!" 

To this day that moment still haunts me. After all the good things I've done in marching band, and after all the hard work I've put into it for four years, that is one of the moments I think about when I think about marching band.

I hate feeling like an idiot. Or feeling dumb, or stupid, or however you want to say it. It might just be the worst feeling in the world. Ever since elementary school, I've always felt dumb. Some of my teachers back then wanted to hold me back. They kept on putting me in special classes, where all the kids that were behind went. There was this one in particular "special gym", which this old woman taught us how to skip and do jumping jacks. It helped us with our hand-eye coordination. There was this other program called STAR, which I went to get extra help after school, whereas all my other friends went to QUEST which was the program for the gifted and talented.

Now as an adult those feelings are still there. They grow and grow whenever I try something new, and I'm not catching on. They were there full force when I worked at a finance company for a little while after college. I hate being the new guy, especially when I'm struggling with concepts or tasks. And since there were only two of us in the office, it was extremely hard for me to keep up, with more and more responsibility added on in a short time. I felt like an idiot infront of my boss who was extremely sharp, and ran things like a machine. I felt like I was messing things up all the time.

The thing is, every job I look at I always envision the worst case scenario. I always picture someone yelling at me. Whether it be my boss, co-worker, or an irate customer. This vision never dissapears. The quote at the top, or the picture with the mountain of papers, is all I see. I feel like my 16 years of schooling did not equipt me for the workforce. I'm not saying I didnt get a good education, I'm just saying that they don't translate well to each other. I'm used to having a book to study, being in a classroom setting listening to lectures and taking notes, and having quizes and tests AFTER preperation and studying. Thats what I excelled at after a while. In college I finished with a 3.7 GPA. But then I go to my first job, and it's not like that at all. I feel like I'm thrown into the fire. And since people are doing their own jobs, how is anyone going to have time to train me? They don't. You're on your own.

I had a friend tell me the other night something really cool. He told me that God sees us as royalty. He told me that we don't have to worry about being a failure, or being rejected, because Christ already accepted  us. God sees us as royalty. That's a really good thought! So everytime I feel like an idiot, or feel inferior, I just have to try to keep that in mind. For me, "try" is the keyword there!

Oh yeah, and one more thing. Since posting this blog, I've thought of some other marching band memories. During one rehearsal, on my senior year, our band director called over the microphone and said to everyone something like, "If everyone marched like Eric Owsley, then we'd be in pretty good shape."

See ya later!

Growing Old

"But time makes you bolder, children get older, and I'm getting older too."
-Stevie Nicks


At first glance, people would look at this title and tell me that at 23 I'm not old yet. And I would agree with that. Maybe I should make a subtitle that states, "trying to cope with change". I've always resisted change. But that's just something that comes with growing old. As I'm at this weird point in my life that I'm not a kid, and I'm not (or at least I dont feel like) an adult, I can't help but to comtemplate on age, mortality, and annoying yet inevitable change.

One thing about change that I've been noticing is that it always messes with relationships. Close circles of friends for instance, can over time just dissapear. Now maybe you'll always remain "Best friends forever", but for some reason somebody has to move away, or the responsibilites of growing old just is too much for regular contact. Or there could be a complete change of hobby, and new peer groups could be entered in the mix. Whatever it is, change just shakes things up when it comes to relationships.

And things just have to happen so fast too. One second we're in college, hanging out at applebees, and then the next second friends are getting married, having children, moving away for a job. I almost feel like things are just unraveling at the seams. But really I have to learn to embrace it.

I would really love to grow old with someone. You know, the whole settling down thing with a family and all that. Then I wouldnt have to worry about all my friends moving away, or getting to busy with life. Maybe I would catch up to them every once and a while. We would poke fun at our gray hair, or receding hair lines, and then look back on all the good times. Then we would go our own seperate ways again, but it would be okay because I would have a beautiful family to go back to. I guess what I'm trying to say is, when I find my soul mate, coping with change would be easier.

I've been absent for a little while on this blog, but I hope to update a little more periodically. Right now I'm really trying to make drastic self improvements this summer. From gaining confidence to overcoming my fears and anxiety. I am still looking for the right job, and I pray that God can just give me the wisdom to not worry about it, but instead focus on good things like loving others, loving jesus, and learning to love myself!

Sleeping

"Never let yesterdays dissapointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams."
-Auther Unknown

On of my favorite things to do is sleep. Now before I dive into a blog about sleeping, let me point out first of all, that it's not going to be a blog about laziness, or agreeing with Bruno Mars' sentiment about not doing anything. While it may be nice to not have to do anything all day (especially when I'm not going on vacation this year!), feeling unproductive isn't the greatest feeling in the world. What this blog is about is hope for a better tomorrow, dreams, rest, and being still for the Lord.

When you have a long, hard day there is nothing better than falling into bed, with all those pillows, and covering up so that your head is the only thing thats exposed. During this time, my mind is racing so fast. I just think about so many things, and I think about all my "problems". Then I close my eyes, and pray. Sometimes I just can't think of what to say. I mean what do I ask God? He knows everything that's going on. Maybe the best thing to do at times like this is to be still. Wait for the Lord. Listen for the Lord. I think sometimes we are so impatient. I know I am. It's moments when you crawl into bed, and your body is aching, and your just so tired that you can have that one on one time with your creator. I remember going to this one seminar at a christian retreat. We stood still in silence for 20 minutes. It felt kinda uncomfortable. But the guy pointed out that it's important to be still.

I love dreaming. I'm still not sure the science behind such visions, and pictures. All of them though are so unique and interesting. When I was smaller, I used to have lucid dreams, in which I could control where I go when dreaming! Now, I barely remember them. But when I do they are always so fun to think about and tell. Maybe there are hidden meanings in these dreams?

Perhaps my favorite part about sleeping though is when I first wake up. Not necessarily waking up at 7:20am for work, when I had moments of insomnia the previous night. But when I had a full nights rest, and I wake up. The first thing I see is my ceiling fan whirl around. Then the sun peaking through my window blinds. Not to mention the birds singing their morning songs. I always try to think of it as a fresh start. The first day of the rest of my life. Just like the quote at the top "never let yesterdays dissapointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams". Yesterday is now apart of the past right? It is day 1, so let's go out there and accomplish our goals and dreams!

Spring brings Stinky Trees...

Ahh.. Spring has arrived. The minute I saw the first wasp of the year flying around our front door, along with 2 days in a row of little sleep because of thunderstorms I realized what season it was. There's something about Spring. I can't even put my finger on it. As soon as I smell those stinky white trees at the start of spring, my first reaction is repulsion.. but thats followed by a reaction of renewel.

Spring takes away the winter blues. Even though you have to part ways with your fashionable winter coats, you start getting out the shorts and t-shirts--items you tend to forget about during the brutally long winters. My favorite part about Spring is getting out my frisbee golf disks, and playing on a course for the first time. Or that first ride of the year on my bike. It opens a whole new world of possibilities to you.

Obviously the environment around you changes, but I think also your inner environment changes as well. On a level I can't explain, for me, Spring and Summer help activate my wildest dreams. You can laugh at this point if you want to, but that's how I feel. I always say to myself statements like "oh maybe I'll have a summer romance this year", or "something BIG is going to happen this summer." Typically nothing radical happens. But there are moments of total relaxation. When I'm on vacation with my family, I always regress back to childhood. The Golden Years. It's a week away from work, deadlines, pressure, responsibility, cell phones buzzing every minute. It's really just a time of family, relaxation, and memories. Time just stands still. 

So in lieu of all the rain, storms, allergies, and wasps, it's a great time of year. It's a time of renewal and regrowth. During this time Christ died on the cross, and rose from the dead so that we can have everlasting life!                                    

Out of the Loop

One cold night in February, I went to a friend of mine's house warming party. When I say "a friend of mine's" he was really somewhere in-between an acquintance and a golf buddy. I've met him in my college days (still getting used to saying that past tense) at a campus ministry group. Well, he invited so many people to this house warming party from that group (50? 75? 100?), that I quickly resorted into shy mode when I arrived.

It was such an awkward and uncomfortable experience for me. People were scattered around the house in their own group: chatting, eating, or playing video games on the Wii. I floated around between groups, catching tail-end conversations... "So yeah thats why I never go skiing again." or, "so that was the best carrot cake I made!"  As I realized quickly that I didn't quite fit in to any group, or had nothing to contribute, I left early--texting a closer friend, to see what he was up to.

Being out of the loop is one of those feelings that just sucks. There's no other way to put it. Most of it could be in your head for sure. I think that's one thing the Devil likes to do, making us think that we have nothing to contribute to a group, and we are just not that important. I think also, the other party doesn't know that they are creating a clique. How do you tell them they are with out putting them on the defense?

You know what the worst part of it is though? It's when girlfriends get in the way. Sure they are still there to support you, and hang with you. But it's just never going to be the same. My buddy and his wife hang out with this new couple that they match-maked. Even though I consider the four of them good friends, and I'm sure they consider me one, they have their own little "double date" group, in which they hang out each week, eating wings, watching sports, playing cards etc. Even though I would love to hang with them, they don't openly invite me. Is it because I'm single? Is it because I would have nothing to contribute? I try to not let it bug me, but it does hurt.

So how do I conclude this blog? Maybe I should just continue to praise God, and pray for patience that my time will come when I can enjoy the company of a significant other. That way when all my good friends are out with their girlfriends, and other couples, I can just be with my girl, and not worry about loneliness, or feeling obsolete.

Or maybe I should just assign blame to girlfriends, and that they just ruin everything ;)

Talk with you all later! God bless!

Time Travel

If you had a time machine, where would you go? Would you go in the past to re-live your childhood; or maybe to tell yourself of future mistakes to avoid? Or would you go in the future, to see what your life is going to turn out like? I have pondered this question myself, and for many years I would tell you that I'd like to go back in time to re-live the golden days of my youth. But now, the curiosity and anticipation of my future is growing as things get more confusing at this point in my life. Now I would really love to visit myself in the future.

The exact problem I face today is blog posts like this. I spend way too much time thinking about the past and future. I tell people, "oh it would be cool to fastforward to when I'm 36. That way I can see my future self as a confident father figure, with a nice home, blah blah blah". The thing about it is, the journey getting there is the best part (and hardest). And I cant skip all that valuable time!

I don't know how to live in the present!

Living in the present is so important, because of this: living in the present is living. Life happens in the present. There's no such thing as the future, and the past no longer exist's. The present is all we have. So if I'm not living in the present... then I'm not living :(

I spend so much time reflecting, worrying, and not putting enough trust in the Lord, that sometimes I just feel like I'm in my own little orb, competely seperated from everyone else. My biggest enemy is the "What If" scenario. The "I could've done this" scenario is slightly in second place too. Past and Future. They always latch on to me and allow me not to live!

Now that I know what the problem is, that's step one of fixing it. I need to live in the present, trust in the Lord, relish in my experiences, and before I know it maybe I'll be the Dad who gets my kids ready for soccer games. I only hope they would be a better player than me... I only scored 1 goal in my 9 year career!

J.T.

"Goodnight you moonlight ladies,
 Rockabye sweet baby James.
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose,
Won't you let me go down in my dreams,
and rockabye sweet baby James"
-James Taylor

This next Saturday, I'm going to see James Taylor perform live. What's the goal I want to get out of that night? To be transported into another world... or at least 'go to carolina in my mind'. You see, with James Taylor you can do just that. His sweet, pure voice, melodic sense, and beautiful guitar style captivated me a few years back, and I just became a JT fan for life!


"What kind of music do you listen to?"

Music has been a large part of life ever since I was about 14 years old when I picked up the trumpet. While most high schoolers were listening to Dave Matthews Band, or Blink 182, I was listening (and playing) to classical and jazz music. In college, my music taste increased. One day I would be listening to Miles Davis' Kind of Blue, the best jazz album of all time. While the next day I would be listening to the best band of all time The Eagles. I could really go on and on about their sound, and their genius but I will spare you. Then of course you throw JT into the mix, and I'm pretty much set for life. So basically, when someone asks me what music do I listen to, I can just say "old people music". Finding out that people my age don't share the same passion I do kind of makes me sad. It's like a dying art form, that I have to try to save or something.

Music... the universal language?

I think there are a few things that can unite nations. One being sports, another being music. I could go down to Latin America, and would have no clue what anyone is saying (I know my high school spanish teachers would kill me!), or even doing for that matter. But when I hear music down there at a bistro, or cafe. Or when I see people dancing at a club to music, I would get what's going on. I'm really not sure if I explained that well, or if my explanation did any justice. I just think that music has the ability to connect us all.

The only way I know how to end this post is to share some JT with you! Hope you enjoy!

Flirting

A couple of blog's back I made a promise that I was going to write about flirting. Well I find it appropriate to write about it on the month of Valentine's Day. This is a subject that I know little about, but love the idea so much! I think it's one of the best forms of communication. Its, at the same time, challenging, but easy as it comes naturally.

Below are a couple of examples of me trying to flirt with some customers when I was still in the restaurant industry. I was the cashier, so most of these customers come at me with money, and a full stomach.

Scenario 1

(Girl approaches the host stand, with her method of payment. She has a blue button down shirt under a black jacket)

Eric- Hey, do you work at a bank?
Girl- (looks at me very curiously and smiles) No, why?
Eric- I just saw the blue shirt, I thought you might've came from work or something. It looks like a bank uniform.

Now this was obviously a feeble attempt of breaking the ice with someone. But let's check out Scenario 2, a couple of months later...

Scenario 2

(two girls approach the hosting stand cashing out, while finishing their conversation they had as they were leaving. It's a half an hour after close, and they are the last customers for the night)

Me- (after the usual "how was everything?" and telling them how much it was) Now are you girls college age?
Girl A, and Girl B in unison - Yeah
Me- Oh cool, yeah I just graduated college back in May. Now Im trying to find something. I'm doing this for now.
Girl A- Yeah it's tough out there!
Me-It really is! I'm jealous of you guys for still being in school!
Girl A/B - (polite laughter)
Me-Alright have a good night!
Girl A/B in unison - You too.

They leave, but Girl B forgets her scarf at their booth. They drive away to the traffic light leading out to the main road. I look at the scarf I have in my hand, and look at the notoriously long traffic light out our windows with a toyota waiting patiently. I have to make a quick decision.... I run out in the freezing December cold with the scarf. I past our parking lot, tramble in the snow that leads to the street, and approach their car cautiously. They roll down their window in confusion, as I point to the scarf. 

Girl B-Oh thank you so much! That's so nice of you!
Me-Yeah no problem!

After a couple more smiles, nods, waves, and thank you's from her end, they drove away into the night.

Now was Scenario 2 a little better? Perhaps, but I didn't go the extra mile. What is the extra mile? What do all the cool Romeo's do out there? "Here's your scarf.. Now what's your number?"  or... "This will keep you warm.. but I know something else that will keep you warm!" I just don't understand. I always have these crazy stories such as these, and the anticipation always builds as I tell exact detail about everything. But 10 out of 10 times, my friends are always dissapointed when absolutely nothing happens at the end of the story. Do you want to know how "Scenario 2" ended? I went back to our restaurants front door because I had my closing duties to finish.. I only realized that I locked myself out, so I had to stand out there in the cold until my manager came by and let me in, laughing at me!

I always compared the art of flirting, and dating to a skill set that you either have or dont have. The hardest class I ever took in high school or college was my AP Computer Science class in high school. My buddy sitting right next to me breezed through it, while I barely managed to get by. My point is, I think the whole dating arena to me is like AP Computer Science. I just can't grasp it. While dating and flirting to others is a breeze.

I hope you enjoyed this edition to my blog! There will be more to come :)

God Bless,

Eric

I'm Loving It

Every January, a whole movement of people get inspired to loose weight and feel great. They vow to not eat junk food, exercise, and keep daily tabs of their calorie count. As the New Year is in full swing, I want to start drinking more water, and as the weather gets warmer, get more inspired to run and exercise. But I will tell you one thing I wont do: give up my Mickey D's.

When people ask me what my favorite restaurant is, I always say "my top two favorite restaurants are the Cheesecake Factory, and Mcdonalds" While I do it because I find this a funny juxtaposition, I also do it because it's true!

Alot of people give Mcdonalds a bad rap. Ever since the documentary film Super Size Me came out in 2004, people are almost riotous with pitch forks and torches when it comes to the restaurant. Actually when I watched Super Size Me in my high school Psychology class, I wanted to go there even more!

The truth of the matter is, you shouldn't go there when you are conscious about calories, dieting, and wanting to be in the best shape. That's why they create outrageously expensive sushi establishments, and whole food markets. But if you want something cheap, and good (without worrying about all the other stuff) then Mcdonalds might be a good option for you! Not only do I think their burgers, and fries are the best (compared to their fast food competitors) but their sweet tea is to die for! And I don't use that phrase that often! Even their regular pop is the best around! What do they put in it?

My new cravings at Mcdonalds is their new fruit and maple oatmeal for $1.99. This hot and creamy oatmeal, with a hint of maple is topped with fresh apple chunks, dried cranberries, and raisins (I know I sound like an ad). I'm hooked on this stuff! And best of all, it's healthy!

Now don't get me wrong, I love exercising. What I believe though is, as long as you stay active you can indulge once in a while in some fast food. I started taking up yoga and kickboxing at my local gym, spiced up with some cycling and running for later when it gets warmer. I even can kick butt in racquetball once I get motivated (and find a partner, sometimes the hardest part).

So for the New Year, get out there and stay active! I inspire you to eat right, and feel great! I'm just saying stop by Mcdonalds and try an oatmeal along with a sweet tea. You won't regret it!

How Do Two Worlds Become One?

Last weekend was the wedding of my very good friends. I was very honored to be the Best Man: a title that I find to be very important. Being apart of their lives in that capacity, I got to witness their relationship grow. And by that, I don't mean that everything was looked at through rosy glasses. There were some arguments, dissagreements, fights, and confusion. But through it all there was this enduring love that was relentless.

As they well know, as a single friend, I am obsessed with this question: "How do two worlds become one?" I have been tackling with this question for a long time now. It's even becoming a joke, as sometimes I like to become a parody of myself. (e.g. "How do two worlds become one?" I'd say in an exaggerated monotone voice, acting really contemplative!) What I mean by it though is... how do two people, with two different lives and backgrounds, join together and create a relationship (or in this case marriage!) I mean this is mindblowing! (wait I'm the only one who thinks it is? Okay then fine!)

My newly wed friends is the perfect antidote for what I'm talking about. They led two different lives, but throughout their 4 1/2 year relationship somehow they managed to blend their lives together in a perfect complementary blend. I always imagine the metaphor of soup or salad. The ingredients just mesh well together to create something wonderful!

You know how you always hear the phrase, "Opposites Attract"? Well that may be the case, but if they are POLAR opposites, then it would be like oil and water getting together. Or insert another metaphor here. If I meet a girl that loves to party, that would completely not work out for me, because I'm not about that at all. However if we look at the other side of the spectrum, being exactly the same won't work too well either. What would you learn? What new things would you experience?

Getting back to my favorite newly wed couple, they are exactly in the middle of this spectrum which is the perfect blend. How do you get to this point? Well it's all about compromise. His obsession with UK sports, cant override her desire to watch Glee, or another program. It also doesn't mean that she HAS to sit there and watch UK with him. While he watches sports with his grandparents (also avid wildcat fans) she can have a friend over the house and they can play with her new sewing machine. It's just all about the compromise.

While there can be a simple solution to creating that perfect complimentary blend by compromising, I still find it very difficult to find someone that has the potential to create that perfect blend with me.

So while I end this blog, and ask myself the question "How do two worlds become one?" let me continue to ponder on that contemplatively stroking my imaginary beard.

Invisibility

When I was a kid, I often thought it would be cool to have the super power of invisibility. I dont know why really, I just thought it would be cool. Perhaps being invisible on demand would be cool. But I do know that feeling invisible isn't. After graduation from college, I get this off and on feeling, and I can't really explain it. I know that there's God who loves me, and all my friends and family. But every so once in a while, I can't help to think that I'm vanishing. That people are forgetting about me.

Out with the old, In with the new

This phrase comes to mind alot when thinking about this feeling. When I said my goodbye's to NKU, and to my band fraternity, they were starting something new without me. They had to move on, meet new people, and form new connections. So whenever I visit my friends at NKU, there's always something new going on: New people hanging around them, or stories with new people and new scenarios. Sure I can try to catch up, and try to get involved as an alum, but I have to increase my efforts, or the train would just keep going without me.

What's even worse though is when I feel my own friends move on without me. I remember when me and my old co-workers got together to go bowling. When we were all working together we were known as the "three musketeers" and we were a little pack. When I bowled with them however, I realized that they've been forming a bond that was far too strong for me to feel apart of the musketeers anymore. I sat back at the table, trying to feel accomplished at my low 90's score, but I was far too distracted by my ol' co-worker friends (along with their mutual friend) having a sick connection! I wasn't about to break that bond.

Even my closer friends I sometimes feel like I'm obsolete. One hangs with his gf, and his work buddies. And while they share drinks on weekends, I pop in Fantasia (a christmas gift), in my basement curled up in my robe (another christmas gift). Another buddy is getting married, and we all know how marriage consumes your life! And yet another buddy, who I shared conversations just like this with frequently, is on to something new (aka a girlfriend! see a trend here?), and now we rarely talk to each other.

Sometimes I'd get on that dreaded Facebook just to see who's on, and who wants to chat. I see the newsfeed with everybody hanging out, and having fun. Then I try to chat with people, and as soon as I say "Hey whats up!! Haven't talked to you in a while!" they sign off. Or after a very short small talk session, they just sign off. Texting is even worse. You text someone to try to remain visible and current in their lives, but sometimes they don't even reply back! What's up with that??

A friend of mine the other night just told me, "after college you just got your career and your friends..." He was referring to the lack of drama and other crap you have to put up with in college, and was saying how rudimentary it becomes afterwards. I start a full time job in the next couple of weeks. My goal is to not get burried with work, and purposely become invisible. My goal is to continue to love and support my friends I do have and to cherish our time together. I also strive to meet new people and make new connections, as I really want to volunteer, and get my hands dirty with something. I think the best antidote for invisibilty though is to just think about how God loves me and wants to have a relationship with me. As I close out this half blog-half venting session, I want to use a bible verse that I would love to dwell on to get me out of this funk!

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! -Psalm 139: 17

Talk to ya later! God Bless!