Swahili Songs (Or, What I Experienced in Kenya)

 People often ask me about my recent mission trip to Nairobi, Kenya. And most of the time I just say, "Man it was awesome!" But after that I don't really know what to say. Should I invite them over for dinner, or grab coffee with them, to try to convey the beauty, and the love, and the plight? Even when I try to say what we did over there, and try to say that we served the people in Kenya, I feel like I'm lying to myself as I gained so much more from them.



In this blog, I want to try to capture what I experienced over there, and what lessons I have learned as I'm back at home.

1. God is big. This may seem like a simple statement, but I think that this may be my biggest lesson from my trip. We traveled 16 hours to a foreign land, and the staff at Missions of Hope International graciously hosted us all week. I truly felt like they were my brothers and sisters in Christ. When we had church services with them, they were so unashamed of the gospel, and of God. They were singing to their hearts content, and all of the kids were praying fervently to their God. Their God was the same God I worship back at home. God was already doing incredible things in the lives of these Kenyans, just like God was doing incredible things in my own life. The God of the universe is at work all over the Earth, and I experienced that really for the first time on my mission trip.
2. God is love. Probably the coolest experience over there was when I met my new friends in the eighth grade blue classroom, when we stayed at the Joska girl's boarding school. Before lights out, our team got to build relationships with the different classrooms. So for several nights I built relationships with these girls, and we sang songs, and I told them about my life back home. I did my best to sing with them and worship our Lord, but then when it was their turn to sing they broke into beautiful Swahili worship songs. They encircled you too, so it was better than playing a song on your car radio with sick bass. This was like God serenading you with song, and showing a new kind of love to you. This reminds me of the verse in the Bible, " The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17 NIV). Before Kenya, I prayed to God, "God, show me more of your love in Kenya. I want to experience your Love in a new kind of way." He did this by serenading me with song, with these awesome Kenyan eighth graders. On the last night there, these girls sung like usual, but then sang us a song of farewell. It was so beautiful. That night I experienced a love so rich and full. I cried and embraced them as I left, but then when I went back to my dorm I began to weep. I think what was going through my head was that I gave all of myself to these kids in such a short time, and maybe the next time I see them was going to be in Heaven. At that moment I felt all of the pain, that they have nothing, and yet all of the love that they have everything, because they have Jesus. I was so thankful to God that He gave me this experience that I will remember for the rest of my life.

3. The Spirit Unifies. This thought kind of goes with the first thought, but I definitely felt the Holy Spirit on the trip move, and unify the church. Even when I was with Kenyans, I did not think of race or culture or language barriers, I thought about God, and the church, and family. I experience community every week with my guys group and community group, but I experienced community on a larger scale with my brothers and sisters in Kenya. I can say to the staff, that I love them and was encouraged by them. And to all of those kids I meant during those VBS's. I could give them a high five, and say "My brother!" to this awesome sixth grade boy every day, and I could pray with this eleventh grade boy who's brother was addicted to drugs. Holy Spirit was definitely moving us and strengthening us. He was definitely guiding our team; a team of acquaintances, who now share a bigger bond because of this experience.

I don't know if this adequately describes my trip to Kenya, but I hope I summarized well. Because of this trip I am going to continue to love big, pursue God, and not put emphasis on my material possessions. As I have ten years left on my passport, I hope I can continue to see this world, love people, and make disciples.

Take the Good, with the Bad

"I know, LORD, that your laws are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me." Psalm 119:75 (NIV)

Last year, I had the worst anxiety of my life, seemingly coming out of nowhere. Most of it had to do with stress at work, but it was affecting me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I remember in my men's small group on Monday nights, before summer transitioned into fall, I would pace around the room while talking, and even listening to others. I couldn't sit still. My appetite even changed... I noticed at Subway, where before I put down foot longs of that oven roasted chicken, I was then only able to eat the 6 inch.

I remember during that time too, I prayed often for God to take away my anxiety. I didn't want to bear it any longer. It would continue though entering into the winter months. Anxiety is a curious thing to where I would be anxious for the things unknown to come out and get me. It felt like this nagging, creeping thing always in my head that would never let me go. Kind of like a wrestling match, where you are constantly struggling to get up from being pinned to the ground.

During these challenging months I could have ran away from my faith. I could have abandoned Him, and just said, "well hey if I have so much pain in my life, then God must have abandoned me. I will abandon Him." But.. I didn't. I ran to Him even harder, feeling like I needed Him even more.

God remains faithful, even if we are not. God never changes even though we often do. While my world was rocky, and things inside and out were changing all around, the only thing that made sense was to run to a God who was never changing, and always present. I would spend hours and hours just praying, and reflecting, and in His word, and just seeking Godly counsel. There were days where I felt God during these times like I've never felt him before.

I think that is why God allowed this anxiety to attack me, because He knew that it would strengthen my relationship with Him. I still don't really know why I had the anxiety like I did (and to this day I have my ups and downs), but I think I came out on the other end stronger. I also think because I had this battle, I am able to be a help to others struggling with anxiety.

I think we have to take the good with the bad, because I think we need both to strengthen our relationship with God. I think if we just run away from the bad, or if the bad didn't exist at all, then in our hearts we may feel like we don't even need something bigger than ourselves to get through life.

If you are going through a season of your life with anxiety, keep running towards God, and towards His word to get you through this. With good times, or bad, He will always remain faithful.