Old Friends

I was at my old alma mater last week (Go Norse!) a few times. The first time I was helping out my fraternity, and the second time I went to the NKU Bands concert. Being in the Concert Band all throughout college, I experienced a wave of nostalgia. It really got me thinking about old places and old faces...

Nostalgia has always been an enemy of mine. Thinking about good times are good, but to have a longing for the past? Is that really healthy? I have had so many good memories at NKU. The crazy thing was, when I went back for both events, there were new faces everywhere. Was I even at the same place, or was it a variation of the same place? I started to feel like I was 67 years old. Those young wipper snappers. Whatever that means.

Then I had some other thoughts, that were scarier. All those friends I hung around with at NKU-whether in my fraternity, or around the music department, or around the communication department. Where are they now, and why haven't we been keeping in touch? Would they remember me or did I become a ghost in the past? Am I obsolete to them?

This brings me to the key question I want to present here: How do good friends become old friends?

You know how you catch up with a friend you havent seen since the good old days? You're at a wedding, and you run into that person. You may introduce others to that person like, "this is a dear old friend of mine from college. We haven't seen each other in years." Then that whole time you spend catching each other up-talking about old faces and old places. Then, you say your goodbyes. Maybe say we should get the old gang back together. But in the hustle and bustle of life, you know that'll never happen. Maybe a happy birthday on facebook, or a christmas card.

But the friendship was GREAT in college. It was so engaging and engrossing. Just something happened where you lost touch.

Then you keep in contact with a close circle of friends from college that journey through life with you. I'm fortunate enough to have a close circle of friends I see every week. And if not weekly, I know that I'll see them. I know that we are connected, and haven't lost touch.

Maybe life is just a series of intertwined paths. Sometimes you intersect with someone else's path for YEARS, or sometimes its just a couple of months. Then your life just takes you on a different path away from the group. Maybe God just connects us with people, and gets us away from relationships that could be damaging in the long run.

Why does there have to be that effort when trying to keep in touch with someone? You tell an old friend, "Hey lets meet up for coffee," but then it just takes weeks to plan, or schedules just conflict, then both parties forget to set something up. But then other times its very seamless.

I would love to make that effort in really connecting with old friends, close friends, and all of my relationships. Take some serious time to invest in these people God has put in my life. Even though sometimes it may be harder to reconnect... I'm just going to keep trying.

So...What Are We Doing?

Hey Everyone!

Sorry for such a long hiatus. I really did enjoy writing these blogs,  but then time just got away from me! I figured I'd get back to you with some thoughts I've had in the past few months or so. So happy belated Thanksgiving, and Merry Christmas! Looking forward to such a great time of the year! I will try my best to keep this going!

I was at a friends house not too long ago for a Thanksgiving gathering. We were sharing a nice meal together, then afterwards brownies were passed out followed by my favorite hobby--drinking coffee. Such a good time to share stuff with friends, what we are thankful for, whats going on in our lives etc. Then something happened which inevitably happens during get togethers with a group. One of our friends asked, "So are we going to do anything? We should break out a board game or something." Thats when Apples to Apples or Monopoly is pulled out from a closet. And for the next hour and a half to two hours, we play a board game. A game that you really need to focus on to play. A game that I'll probably be TERRIBLE at.

Another instance happened like that a few months ago. I was at a party of sorts. There were about 8 or 9 of us sort of just "chilling". The host of the party anxiously says, "So.. what are we doing? Let's get a board game out!" Basically saying we are just sitting in a room staring at each other, we should really be doing something right?

There are two kinds of people in this world: Task-Oriented people and Relational-Oriented people. We need both type of people in this world to help each other out. I've really started to notice what kind of things I like to do in a small group setting, and what kind of things I could do without. I really love just "chilling" over a meal, or a cup of coffee. I really love deep conversation with a real close friend. Bonfires in the fall, or a nice hike in the summer time. Activities that involve participants, but not necessarily something that requires your full attention. Something that can be put in the background, while building relationships is in the foreground. I'm more of a Relational-Oriented person.

There are some folks out there who would much rather play a video game for a few hours. Play a game of cards, or a board game. They love friends, and having people over but they would much prefer to center around an activity to prevent boredom. I even know some people where they would'nt hang out with a friend if the activity sucks to them (e.g. Art Musuem, Concert, Theater).

Like I said, we need both types of people. Relational-Oriented folks might never stick to a task without task-oriented folks. And Task-Oriented folks might learn to find new hobbies or new ideas with relational-oriented people.

So what do you want to do? I don't know about you but I want to continue sipping my coffee and having a nice conversation with you.

What type are you?

Just Be Yourself Yo

I remember when I was interviewing at companies on my long job search. I would get so nervous. I would think of what they would want me to say. I would try to say what they would want to hear. But I always got turned down. The last couple of interviews I went on were technical type jobs I didn't even want. But I just got so desperate.

Then it dawned on me. Nothing is working. I'm just going to go in there and be myself. I am going to respond to questions exactly as I would respond to those questions. I would add my personality into the interview, instead of sounding like a robot. My last two job interviews, they gave me an offer. The first one I declined because the job really wasn't for me. The second one.. Well I work there today.

I think alot of time in our lives (I know in my life), we aren't ourselves. But what does it mean to be 100% yourself. I believe it means staying true to your values. Even though everyone else is doing one thing, if that one thing is not in your belief system, or doesn't align with your values, then you have to be courageous enough to stand up for yourself. A few weeks ago a couple of friends of mine wanted to see a movie that didn't align with my values. Even though it was 3 against 1, even though it would've been easier to just agree to go to the movie, I said a phrase that I often say with moments like this, "No, that's not really my thing." Did they laugh at me? Did they beat me up? No. They not only respected my values. Instead we went to my favorite restaurant, and had such a good time.

I think it also means to stay unique when society tells you to be mainstream. I love zumba. Not only do I burn 800 calories, but I get the opportunity to dance to music. When there is music on, I just cant help myself but to dance to it. It's like God put that in my heart to be joyful, and express myself through dance. For a guy, this hobby is pretty unique! But I don't care. I do my own thing. When I was a kid though, I used to care what people think about me. Now I don't care at all, and I LOVE it! I only serve one master, and He doesn't care if I do zumba, or act goofy and innocent. This is how he created me in my mothers womb.

People really respect authenticity. People really respect people with backbones. People don't like phony's and fakes. So when you align yourself with your values and beliefs and you follow your passions even though they are offbeat, people will NOT beat you up. They will respect you.

Just be yourself yo!

Jesus Freak

I was with a group of friends over the weekend, just hanging out. A conversation strikes up about IQ. These friends are very smart. One in particular. He is a level 3 Java Developer at a big company, making 3 times what I make. I was telling this group that I didn't feel smart. Especially around them. Someone would ask them a question, and they'd get it instantly. It would always take me a long time. While we shared a few laughs about the topic, I couldn't stop thinking about this.

Why am I feeling this way?

I went to church on Sunday, and our Senior Minister had a few words of advice for our high school graduates. He said that we shouldn't put our identity in our GPA's, our advanced degrees, our IQ, or our fraternity/sorority, but we should put our identities in Christ. Then I felt ten times better...

I've never really thought of myself as a Jesus Freak. I've never really thought of myself as radical. Back in High School, I did go to church every week. But it felt different. I was too caught up with the rules (not cursing, not drinking) I was too caught up with judging others. It was too much about religion, not about a relationship. And that's what its about. A relationship with God who loves you, no matter what you have done, or what you're going to do. He masterfully crafted us in the womb, and is always by our side when everything else changes. He sent his son Jesus to die for our sins. My sins. I'm forgiven, and loved unconditionally. Are you kidding me?

So when I have good weeks spiritually and I have devotion time with my best friends, talking for hours about life and Jesus, and I listen to christian radio, and I'm in the word studying, and I have moments of intense prayer with my creator, I no longer feel inadequate, insecure, inept, dumb, stupid. I don't put my identity in my intelligence, or my ACT test score, or my degree, or my job. My identity is in Christ, who's my redeemer, and my personal Lord and Savior. I have that confidence, that I've always been looking for.

But then I have these spiritually low weeks. Weeks where I do compare myself to the worlds standards. Where I do feel dumb and insecure. I don't pray as often as I should, or study or have devotion time. Then I wonder why I feel this way.

If you claim to be a Christian, I think the only option is to be ALL about it. We are called to surrender everything. We are called to be strangers of this world. Having faith in something you don't see, and surrendering your life in that way are radical concepts. So maybe I am a Jesus Freak. I'm proud of it. I love getting a chance to witness to others, and telling people the good news. Sure I get looks like I'm a three headed monster and get made fun of. Before I would've felt strange and weird and awkward. Now every chance I get to be bold in my faith, I get this rush. I get excited. I love being a representative for Christ.

I apologize to everyone in the past for whom I judged. I apologize for ever being a hypocrite. I apologize for being a bad representative of Christ. All I want to do is love Jesus, and love like Jesus. I'm not perfect, and I'm going to fail, but I know I am forgiven.

Don't Throw Rocks at Cats

-"Do you like cats?"

-"Eww. I hate cats! I throw rocks at them."

-"Why do you throw rocks at cats?!"

-"Because...they are mean to me!"

-"Well why do you think they are mean to you?"

-"Because... I throw rocks at them!"

The conversation above is a paraphrase I had with a student, while I was a substitute teacher for a brief time. Unfortunately this conversation isnt just about this misguided student that abuses animals. This conversation could serve as a microcosm for a dog lovers reasoning for their hatred towards cats. For some reason there are dog lovers out there (quite a few) who just cant stand a cats existence. You'll hear phrases like, "The only good cat is a dead cat!" or "if I see a cat on the road I will purposely try to run it over!" It's like whenever the word cat is mentioned, the person just snaps for 3 seconds, having to vent out their pent up aggression towards these animals.

Whats going on here?





Here is my beef with some of these dog lovers. I'm cool with the fact that they love their dogs, and they are passionate about them. I understand that, and appreciate it. I am an animal lover myself, and I like most dogs. I would describe myself as a "cat person", but one would see me loving on dogs as well. I like animals. These dog lovers that I'm talking about loves dogs, but HATES cats. They hate the fact that cats are:

1) Not like dogs

2) Independent

3) low maintenence

4) have hair, that could cause allergies (by no fault of their own)

I just don't understand why dog lovers cant be like, "oh well I'm more of a dog person myself, but its cool that you like cats. I can see why you would like them." Instead they have to say, "eww cats! *uncontrollably vomits* boy if I had a firecracker, the first thing I would shoot it at is a cat! No offense Eric, I know you like cats." If they can just have an appreciation for the cat. Appreciate that cats are completely different from dogs. Just like girls are completely different from guys. And lizards are completely different from spiders. What if a spider or lizard runs up to you at the door to greet you? That would scare the crap out of you. But if these dog-lovers make the claim that they dont like cats because they dont have the same characteristics and attributes as dogs (aka. greeting you when you get home by jumping up on you and licking you) isnt that like saying "I HATE blue jays. They dont greet me when I go to the backyard, and they don't allow me to pet them when I give them bread!!!" I'm going to throw rocks at them!"

I can go on and on about my love for cats. Butterscotch and Simon both have been great pets. When Butterscotch passed away it was really tough on our family because he was part of the family. When I was on the job hunt, Simon kept me company, while everyone else was out of the house. It's complete nonsense when those dog-lovers make the argument that cats don't show affection. Just the other night I came home late, and guess who came to greet me? Simon. Maybe not by jumping up on me, licking my face and wagging his tail. But he nudged up against my legs with a loud purr, plopping down on the floor, and giving me "lovey" eyes. As I keep petting him, the purring gets louder and louder. Isn't that affection? Isn't it affection when both of our cats have always been in the same room we have been, when there are 3 stories of rooms they could explore or hide away in? Isn't it affection when Simon jumps on our laps for comfort and relaxation rather than the big empty chair?

Thanks for listening to this rant. I hope that we all can just have an appreciation for all animals. God made them and crafted them completely different from each other. He did not make mistakes during this process.

Happy Easter, and God Bless!

Eric

The Conversation App

With the introduction to the iPhone4S and "Siri", we can now talk to our phones like their our number 1 confidant. Let's take it a step further though. What if there was an app that we can not only talk to a robot, and they spit out programmed answers, but if the robot knew us on more a personal level. What if they knew our moods, knew how to cheer us up and encourage us, knew what motivated and inspired us. Shared similar interest with us (e.g. on the golf course, this app would say "nice shot dave. You are improving your putting game, but your drive still may need a little work. We should head over to the range at least twice a week to work with that new hybrid driver). What if they can even be more intimate than that? Showing affection, spending quality time with us, doing something nice for us. Sharing a romantic evening at Red Lobster with us, celebrating your one year anniversary since your upgrade to the new iPhone4S.

Wait hold on a minute. I feel like this does exist. And it has nothing to do with our cell phones.

My number 1 pet peeve, is having dinner with my friends looking so forward to chilling with them, catching up, being encouraged, etc, but they are spending more time and energy on their smart phones. I remember one night I almost walked out of the restaurant, as all I saw were a row of downcast heads looking at glowing white screens. What do I do when that happens? Should I try to make conversation with myself? Should I try to make conversation with my cherry pepsi glass?

Just recently I went out to the phone store, to get a new phone. Taking advantage of this time to upgrade, I eagerly exchanged my Blackberry Curve for a... Motorolla Flip Phone. That's right a dumb phone. A phone that can only call and text. A phone that brings back what our society lost a long time ago.. a connection with people, not technology. Not only that, but I was so tired of information overload. I was so tired of waiting for that blinking red light to appear on my phone, notifying me that I got a message. But when I saw who it was, it was only junk email from ancestory.com, or a stupid facebook notification. Or even worse, instead of spending time studying the word or having an enriching prayer life, I would spend some time playing a stupid game on my phone. Even when my intentions were to pray, how did I subconsciously gravitate to my phone? No more.

Now I don't want you to take this the wrong way. Everybody has iPhones now, and thats fine. I'm not against iPhones. I'm against a disconnection from people. Some time where we should spend with valuable conversation, we spend in our own little world. That's all good that we keep up with the latest technology, as technology can make things easier for us. We just need to preserve that valuable conversation time with loved ones.

God Bless!

Eric

To Be a Refreshment to People's Existence

I came up with a "life mission statement" the other week. It just kinda came out of nowhere. That statement (also the title of this blog) is "to be a refreshment to people's existence." If I put together all the things that make up the essence of who I am, it fits this life mission.

I love making people laugh

I love making someone smile

I love impacting someones life (even if its something small)

As far as work experiences and activities, what energized me the most was interacting with someone, and having a chance to make an impact. At the restaurant, I loved training host's and servers. I loved pleasing guests, and making their experience great. As a VP of my fraternity, I loved recruiting students. I loved conducting seminars on brotherhood and leadership. I loved motivating them through fraternity struggles and drama. As a career, I would love to have an opportunity to impact someones life in some way (nonprofit work, management when I get to motivate and inspire someone, admissions when I get to motivate students to achieve their dreams, ministry when I'd spread the good news, or motivational speaking if my book makes it big!)

The other night my brother and I went to grab something at Burger King. We went through the drive through. As soon as the attendant opened the window, she recognized me from 4 months prior. She smiled, and said she hasn't seen me in a while. Rewind to last September. I came in to Burger King, disgruntled after my friday night shift, and looking forward to a job prospect as an admissions rep at a technical college. All I did to break the employee-to-customer business transaction, was vent about wanting to get out of the restaurant, and she was able to relate. The week afterwards, I went to the drive through, and briefly spoke with her, that I didn't get the job I wanted.. Now here in January, she remembers me! What can I take away from this experience? Does that mean I impacted someones life in a small way? Does that mean I completed my life goal?

My mission statement I think reflects greatly with statements found in the Bible. Such as being a light of the world, or salt of the earth. Hopefully I can land a career that would be congruent with this mission. Then, I think that I would be on fire.

 Does anyone else have a life mission? If not, what would it be?

God Bless,

Eric

Hashbrowns and Homefries

It was Christmas Eve night when I was waiting tables at my restaurant job, praying that it would be 5:00 as soon as possible, so I could go home and spend some QT with my family. Thats when a customer was sat at my section, ready to be a "ba humbug", complaining about his meal. He ordered one of our breakfast items, which included his choice of either Hashbrowns or Homefries. He grumbled that he wanted the hashbrowns, but not with our seasoning. Not aware that we put anything on our hashbrowns, I consulted our cook, and he said that they didnt put anything special on them--they came as they were prepared.

So minutes later, I gave him his breakfast. After running around to serve my other guests, scattered about the restaurant, he motioned me over. I stood there listening to him vent as he complained about his entree. The kicker for me though was the complaint about he hashbrowns. He said, "And I got hashbrowns, when I really wanted home fries. I know I said hashbrowns, but you should have picked up on what I meant, when I was talking about the seasoning."

Are servers supposed to read minds? Is that in our job description?

He not only got his meal for free, as our manager took care of him. But he also stiffed me because I couldn't read his mind! Of course that put me in a sour mood for Christmas Eve. I did lighten up (after a great meal at Oriental Wok with my family that night, followed by other Christmas traditions!), but I couldn't stop thinking about this predicament.

Last Thursday morning, when I was hosting. I greeted the same guy and his wife, sitting them down to their seats. I tried to make as little eye contact with him as possible. Later on when they got up to left, they talked with our manager (the same one who gave him his free meal). Then he did something that I don't think I'll ever forget. He turns to me, and hands me 2 dollars saying, "I stiffed you the other day. Here you go."

Does that mean there's hope for mankind? Are there a handful of people out there who want to do the right thing? His conscious must have been weighing heavy on him for two weeks to come back and do that. I wasn't even his server! I was just a host.

This story started out as a "bad server story", just one more reason to get out of the restaurant industry. It ended up being a story about miracles, hope, and inspiration.

Happy New Year Everyone!