A few weeks ago I had this incredible opportunity at work to help one of my students find an outfit for his court appearance. This court date was to determine if he would get custody of one of his children, and he wanted to look presentable. I took him to the second floor where we store all of our clothing donations. Going in there, I was just going to have a seat, while he rummaged through outfits trying on clothes behind closed doors. But I had no idea that I was about to be his fashion advisor.
He tried on a few suits, that fitted awkwardly on his slim frame. I suggested a shirt (and shirt size) that would go well with the suit that he picked. He eagerly opened up the new brooks brothers shirt, and admired his new style. Then we looked at the ties. He gave me full confidence that I could pick out a tie that would match his outfit. I decided on a red one. Simple. Classic.
Then he said something that will always stick with me. He said, "I hope you know how to tie a tie, because I never learned. My dad never taught me."
It was such a cool moment. Here is this 30 year old, tatted up, lead a very rough life, and now is facing many obstacles. He had the humility to not only admit this, but also let me tie it for him, put it on, and button his top buttons on his shirt.
I had a few epiphanies at this moment; 1.) I realized how important the role of a father was. There are so many families with absent fathers (either physically or mentally). I met multiple families while working in social services where the father/husband/boyfriend just packed his bags and left. It's a very hard responsibility and these men aren't accepting the challenge! Men need to step up! We need real men to save families. Their roles range from tying ties to loving and respecting their wives, to providing financially and spiritually when work is SO exhausting and tough.
2.) I realized then, even though I am terrified, that I think I have what it takes to be a father. Here I was, tying a tie for this 30 year old who is trying to get his life back on track. I wasn't just tying his tie, I was being patient and kind with him. I was just being there. He later called me his big brother. It's just so crazy. I'm just so blessed.
Afterwards he started talking about his past life, and started talking negatively about himself. I just told him that God loved him. Even though I'm not aloud to share my faith at work, I had to tell him the truth.
He ended up gaining custody of his child, and now he walks to class proudly in his suit, along with other nice clothing that he got at our second hand clothing store. It's so cool watching him grow into a whole new person. God gets all the glory! Spending time with him that day was such an awesome moment. I don't think that I will ever forget it.
