For whatever reason, as I get into my late twenties, I am starting to become more anxious about marriage. Perhaps because it's becoming more realistic, and several friends around me are in this stage of life. Maybe it's because of the high divorce rate, and I want to make sure I find the right one.
In the past few weeks I've asked several of my married friends this one question:
"In marriage, do the rewards outweigh the obstacles?"
100% of them answered yes, and most of them an enthusiastic yes!
My qualitative research eased my mind a little bit, but then I keep thinking about being with someone for 50+ years, and I keep thinking about two imperfect people in their weakest moments, and all the arguments, and silent treatments. I keep thinking about this table full of women at the lunch table talking SMACK about their husbands, and how they practice buffoonery. I keep thinking about what happens when infatuation runs out, and romance fades. I keep thinking about an imperfect love between two people.
For whatever reason I have another crazy fear about marriage... I've never slept beside another person before (save for my brother growing up, where he would monopolize the bed!). A majority of the time I sleep on my stomach, and a lot of the times I wake up with slobber on my pillow. It's kind of gross to be honest with you. I'm trying to picture being married, and slobbering on my pillow like a helpless baby or something. What if my wife wakes up first and notices this disgrace? Or worse! What if I slobber on her hair or something! Then I will never hear the end of it! She will talk to all her lady friends the next day at work and say, "You'd never guess what my husband did!" Then I'd be rolled away as a circus act.
Being so preoccupied about this, I spoke to two friends, who are a young married couple. My buddy said that he slobbers all the time while he sleeps, and even accidentally slobbered on her! She played it off like it was no big deal.. She laughed at him, but the laughter wasn't cruel, it was endearing. That comforted me; I didn't see two people annoyed with each other, I saw two teammates and two friends.
I think more than anything I want a really good teammate in marriage. Someone who balances out my weaknesses. Someone who never belittles me, or makes fun of me to their friends. Someone who is a good collaborator with me. Someone who I can call best friend. I would like to find a love that goes beyond the "honeymoon stage", and I'd like to find a friendship that would last a lifetime.
Marriage is a perfect representation of Christ loving the church. I think real love has something to do more with sacrifice than it does teddy bears or roses. Christ loves us in our worst sin, and he died for us while we were still sinners. While his people were mocking Him and crucifying Him, all he could think about was forgiving them. I'm not sure if we will ever be able to measure up to His perfect love for us, but when I get married I sure am going to try to mirror this.
